DD asking us to get vaccinations

[flowerseverywhere]

If you are going to dig in your heels and say, "F you, I'm not doing it," then you pay the price by staying home when it comes time for DGS/DGD birthdays, christenings and other family occasions. Up to you.

Everyone is assuming I am against vaccines and I am NOT! I am against over-vaccinating and things go wrong like PT just gave an example. This whole thing might have gone better if her daughter had decided to have a thoughtful conversation with her instead of making a demand. It is not a good communication style.

well it’s too bad she didn’t have a thoughtful conversation but she is the kids mother and can make the rules. I don’t like small kids around dogs, why take the risk and people go nuts around that one. No smoking in my house. No drinking and driving, even one. Too bad. Who will be the loser if you fight a married child or their spouses wishes? You.

[catherine]

Catherine, then you have a unhealthy family member that can't self-regulate and you need to protect your family. I think this whole thing was handled poorly by PT's daughter. In a discussion it would become evident that people our age did not get whooping cough so that would be reasonable and I would do that one only. As I said before it is possible to separate them. I would not get re-vaccinated for something I had as that would be unreasonable. You can get a titer test to make sure you are still immune.

I think reasonable discourse is always the best way, but my point is, the mother and father make the rules. And if that were a rule, and it's a relatively small price to pay, I'd abide by it. To you, it's not a small price to pay, so that's your right to not honor it. It's kind of like "no shoes in the house." Some people may think that's ridiculous. But if they want to enter the house, they have to take off their shoes. It's not their house. The vaccine thing may not be negotiable.

[Tybee]

A hospital job would accept titers, so I would go to my doctor and first have my blood tested for titers--when I did a semester of nursing school, I found I had already had many of the diseases like measles, German measles, etc. so no need to be vaccinated.

You have to have tetanus anyway, so no problem with that one. If you don't have immunity to the DAP part of the shot, I would go ahead and talk to my doctor and see if she advised it was okay for me, in my particular health status. If so, I would go ahead and do it and take her the documentation, no discussion, just "here you go."

I totally get how you feel, I really do. We've had a couple of moments like that. I have found that as time goes by, with two children, my kids have become much more comfortable with having us visit, and I have grown in confidence. It is a learning process on both sides. I am sorry she hurt your feelings, mine would have been hurt too.

If you go get whatever vaccinations you need then you're done, no need to make it more of an issue than it feels like. Time will heal it, as will her need for her mom with having twins.

I had twins, I know whereof I speak!!

[Teacher Terry]

Flowers, that is the problem this is not a war. You don't need a winner or loser if you communicate well. I see not smoking as reasonable since it impacts your health too. The dog thing no and the drinking thing I would only intervene if they had too much to drink and then I would call a uber for them or give them a ride home. I hope never to be in a situation where I am fighting an adult child or their spouse. If I am then maybe the relationship is not as healthy as it should be and I would need to decide if I wanted it to continue. Now probably PT's daughter is just stressed out and over reacted due to the pregnancy being high risk. however, PT has legitimate concerns after what happened to her own child.

[KayLR]

Actually we did have an outbreak of whooping cough in the last year here in our area. Kids and adults. There was a total of 169 cases reported statewide through week 18, compared to 134 casesreported in 2017 during the same time period, according to our dept. of health.

[Teacher Terry]

I looked it up and that is because whooping cough was not a part of our vaccines until many years later so many people are not immunized. I see that as wise to get that taken care of for a new baby.

[catherine]

The point is, don't take it personally, and respect the parents' wishes. My DDIL has asked me not to wear shoes in the house, to wash and sanitize my hands right before touching my DGSs, to NEVER EVER post a picture of them on FB.

I don't take it personally. I just do it. Or don't do it, whatever the case may be.

[Teacher Terry]

Plus if you get vaccinated for what you never had as a kid and a titer test that you are still immune then yes it is unreasonable to get re-vaccinated and I would not do it.

[Teacher Terry]

Catherine, it sounds like she asked you and didn't demand it. Those don't seem like unreasonable requests to me. The washing/sanitizing hands every time might be over the top but it is a small thing)

[catherine]

Catherine, it sounds like she asked you and didn't demand it. Those don't seem like unreasonable requests to me. The washing/sanitizing hands every time might be over the top but it is a small thing)

No. She's definitely a demander. And if she doesn't catch a transgression, my son will back her up. Whichever way, you're towing the line, or you're outta there. Again, I don't take it personally.

I admire that about her. Although I think she'll soften a little as time goes on (she has two kids now, which tends to wear you down on absolutes).