DD asking us to get vaccinations

[Zoe Girl]

Disclaimer - I didn’t read the whole thread.

This is a good vaccine - whooping cough is making a comeback. It kills babies. Adults need boosters. She might even be acting on the advice of her doctor in asking you to get it.

My oldest was not able to get the whooping cough vaccine, she had a serious reaction to the first shot at 2 months. It was scary. We lived in Boulder and homeschooled until she was 7, and due to the large number of unvaccinated children (1997) we had an outbreak of it. Now she is an adult and if she was in a college dorm and people chose to not vaccinate she would be at risk again. So I have a personal interest, and I also researched vaccines and didn't just do them without thought.

And I know it is hard, but I recall the feeling when I was a new mom and everyone wanted to make decisions for my children. I know it is not unique but it was painful. Just a few years ago my mom stopped bringing ham to my house and saying that she had to so my kids weren't deprived, sigh. When she or other people respected my judgement it meant a lot. So (I haven't kept up on the whole thread) I wonder if you can think about it as a way to support and respect your daughter. We all appear or try to appear confident, however parenting is really a nerve wracking process.

[catherine]

IL: my story had everything to do with how people treat you. You teach people how to treat you and if you allow bad/bullying behavior that does not show respect then you are part of the problem.

I simply don't see pinkytoe's DIL, nor my DIL, as bullies. And my DIL does not act the way in which your SIL acted. I think we just are seeing the behavior differently. I'm not bullying my husband by saying "Under no circumstances are you smoking in the house." To me it's not open for discussion. But that doesn't mean I'm a bully. He can come back to me and say, "How about if I smoke just in my office? I'd really be uncomfortable stepping outside on a really cold day." I might give it about 10 seconds consideration, but frankly I'm still going to say no.

[flowerseverywhere]

I live in a large retirement community. I know many sad and lonely people who have are estranged from family members including children and grandchildren. If they disclose their story it is often about a parent judging their adult child for lifestyle choices and giving their opinion. If you want to risk it, go ahead. I am not willing to. I love my sweet young grandchildren with all my heart and for the minor sacrifices I have to make to adhere with their parents rules (they are very strict about food for instance, so no cake making with them, very restricted TV and electronic devices, and we were vaccinated) I would do it in one second without hesitation. Nothing is more sad than reaching the last chapter of your life without loving relationships.

[Teacher Terry]

Flowers: I have a great relationship with my kids and step-sons. I doubt you are even reading my posts because I don't tell any of them what to do. We all communicate and don't give one another ultimatums. You can have a win-win as I pointed out before. I was lucky enough to be raised in a healthy family and of course my therapy degree has additionally helped me in this area. For my friends with grandkids they are not used as leverage to control parent's but the kids are glad when their parents babysit for them.

[Alan]

For my friends with grandkids they are not used as leverage to control parent's but the kids are glad when their parents babysit for them.

I don't think the OP's situation has anything to do with controlling the parent, they had simply established boundaries in what they believe to be the best interests of their children. I can respect that and can't imagine why anyone else wouldn't.

[flowerseverywhere]

Flowers: I have a great relationship with my kids and step-sons. I doubt you are even reading my posts because I don't tell any of them what to do. We all communicate and don't give one another ultimatums. You can have a win-win as I pointed out before. I was lucky enough to be raised in a healthy family and of course my therapy degree has additionally helped me in this area. For my friends with grandkids they are not used as leverage to control parent's but the kids are glad when their parents babysit for them.

none of my posts are about you. They are aboutmeand what I have experienced.

[Suzanne]

This is what I’m getting.

Daughter has a high risk pregnancy.
Babies are likely immune-compromised.
Daughter says that, to protect these fragile about-to-be-born, all visitors should have the TDaO.

Grandma goes ballistic! She’s healthy! Daughter should have asked her and had a whole discussion before deciding to protect these highly vulnerable babies that daughter is carrying , by expecting that people who’ll want to cuddle and kiss her babies to have had a simple cheap highly-efficacious vaccine! The ads are insulting!

For Pete’s sake, grandma! This is not about you. It’s about your grandchildren.

[pinkytoe]

As I have said, I fully intend to get the shots if we visit anytime soon. I dealt with an overbearing mother-in-law when I had DD (enough so that we moved to another city) so I get that it is her show and not mine.

[frugal-one]

Lack of vaccinations also can and do cause health problems.

Show the data on each.

Then, given that data, how would you arrive at a decision?

Here is one site:
https://articles.mercola.com/sites/a...overnment.aspx

[frugal-one]

I'd get the vaccinations, and not go down the tin-foil-hat "big pharma" trail.

I have to demonstrate immunity through blood titers several times a year to even go to work. Vaccinations on the whole work, and save lives at very little cost.

Interesting about the blood titers to demonstrate immunity. Where do you get this? Is this available to "regular" people?