Wow I would not be good with that. My brother married a very demanding woman when I was 15 and everyone bent over backwards trying to be nice, let her be the boss, etc. She would lie about what you said to her if you were in a room alone with her, etc. My sister was older and got fed up too. Finally at 30 I had enough and was done with them. Then they quit coming much to see my parents. After my Dad died they divorced and he had a lot of guilt over how he treated my parents. My dad was dead but he tried to make it up to my Mom. When he got a serious girlfriend my easy going mom said she learned a big lesson and was never going to be a door mat again in the interest of family harmony. It turned out that the next wife was not crazy like the first. my brother realized his mistake and told his new wife that if she could not get along with my mom they would not be getting married. Things worked out fine. I have a daughter in law that i love very much and we get alone great. We can be honest with each other and kind. I do take things personally and I would not allow myself to be bossed around in order to see my grandchildren. One of our step-sons is also married and we get alone with his spouse too. It sounds like you have an approach that works for you which is good. Between us we have 5 boys so will be interesting to see what happens if the rest get married.