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Thread: DD asking us to get vaccinations

  1. #21
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    I am amazed that anyone in this day and age is trying to tell a daughter that she is not the mistress in her own home with the care of her own children. It is highly likely that this was discussed with her DH and he is in agreement.

    At what point do you self-centred mothers give up dominance over your children's choices and decisions when they have set up their own homes with their own children? Just shaking my head in disbelief.

    No one is saying "no visiting ever, period". PT's daughter is simply saying "These are my house rules - vaccines necessary for those in close contact with my children upon the advice of healthcare providers." She has every right to do so. Respect that right! You don't have to visit her or the children if you are so opposed to having the vaccines. That is your right!
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  2. #22
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    Razz, I am not saying she does not have a right to decide what is right for her babies. I think she should have asked and not demanded. I don't interfere in my kids lives and they make their own decisions. Fortunately, none of my friends that are grandmother's have been faced with getting over-vaccinated by this ridiculous request.

  3. #23
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    As stated, I will honor DD's request. I think the fear is whooping cough which I get. Wish I could just get that without the whole shebang. Do people in first world countries even get diphtheria?

  4. #24
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    Razz, I am not saying she does not have a right to decide what is right for her babies. I think she should have asked and not demanded. I don't interfere in my kids lives and they make their own decisions. Fortunately, none of my friends that are grandmother's have been faced with getting over-vaccinated by this ridiculous request.
    I think any mother has the right to set boundaries that are important to her. If you are going to dig in your heels and say, "F you, I'm not doing it," then you pay the price by staying home when it comes time for DGS/DGD birthdays, christenings and other family occasions. Up to you.

    "Asking" is not the way to set a boundary. A boundary is a boundary. Personally, I am never that strict about anything: germs, vaccines, whatever. But my own DIL has set boundaries with her kids and I totally respect that.
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  5. #25
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    When DD was around 4, she received the last course of this shot (at the time) and became seriously ill and was diagnosed with Guillian-Barre. Her leg paralysis went away over time. Ever since then, I have been fearful of getting vaccines.

  6. #26
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkytoe View Post
    As stated, I will honor DD's request. I think the fear is whooping cough which I get. Wish I could just get that without the whole shebang. Do people in first world countries even get diphtheria?
    Nope, thanks to immunizations.

    The number of cases has changed over the course of the last 2 decades, specifically throughout developing countries. Better standards of living, mass immunization, improved diagnosis, prompt treatment, and more effective health care have led to the decrease in cases worldwide. However, although outbreaks are rare, they still occur worldwide, especially in developed nations such as Germany among unvaccinated children,[/I] and Canada.[25][/I] -- Wikipedia
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  7. #27
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    PT: I think you can have one vaccine but not the combo if you want. My friend's daughter doesn't want her kids to have the combo vaccines so gets them spread out over time. I never did that when my kids were getting vaccines but she read there were less side effects. Is whooping cough something we didn't get when we were kids? We always respected both sides of our wonderful families and did not set up boundaries. We had thoughtful discussions about things if they were important. I don't do well with ultimatums and think they aren't needed unless you have people that are bossy and overbearing. Thankfully that never described my parents or in-laws.

  8. #28
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    PT: I think you can have one vaccine but not the combo if you want. My friend's daughter doesn't want her kids to have the combo vaccines so gets them spread out over time. I never did that when my kids were getting vaccines but she read there were less side effects. Is whooping cough something we didn't get when we were kids? We always respected both sides of our wonderful families and did not set up boundaries. We had thoughtful discussions about things if they were important. I don't do well with ultimatums and think they aren't needed unless you have people that are bossy and overbearing. Thankfully that never described my parents or in-laws.
    I'm curious.. TT, I really respect you and this is just a difference of opinion, but what would happen if you had a alcoholic in-law who was prone to showing up at your home when your children were small having had too much to drink? If you told them that you did not want them around your children unless they were sober, is that an ultimatum or a boundary? I say it's a boundary.

    You may see an alcoholic in-law as different from an unvaccinated one, but it's the same principle.
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  9. #29
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    If you are going to dig in your heels and say, "F you, I'm not doing it," then you pay the price by staying home when it comes time for DGS/DGD birthdays, christenings and other family occasions. Up to you.

    Everyone is assuming I am against vaccines and I am NOT! I am against over-vaccinating and things go wrong like PT just gave an example. This whole thing might have gone better if her daughter had decided to have a thoughtful conversation with her instead of making a demand. It is not a good communication style.

  10. #30
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    Catherine, then you have a unhealthy family member that can't self-regulate and you need to protect your family. I think this whole thing was handled poorly by PT's daughter. In a discussion it would become evident that people our age did not get whooping cough so that would be reasonable and I would do that one only. As I said before it is possible to separate them. I would not get re-vaccinated for something I had as that would be unreasonable. You can get a titer test to make sure you are still immune.

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