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Thread: empathetic people,

  1. #1
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    empathetic people,

    I am asking people who consider themselves highly empathetic, but everyone is welcome.

    I am wondering if people who are highly empathetic have others who understand it? Not thinking that this is a better or worse characteristic, not that empathy necessarily makes you a better person, more about if you have some understanding people. I had one of those wonderful moments where I used a lot of empathy and in the follow up conversation my supervisor was both frustrated with me and baffled by it. He really doesn't understand it or why it may be important. Now I have a really pissed off parent and I am worn out, I don't have a lot of empathy resources. What fills it up is some level of appreciation or at least neutral response, not negative.

    I did have a wonderful parent experience, that was great. No one who is on the receiving end of empathy complains, but it is often misunderstood. Do other people have experiences of understanding.

  2. #2
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    I am overly empathic. I find I must carefully curate my exposure to other people, or their feelings/emotions override mine.

    It is a very handy ability when I am responding to a call for a sick or injured person, and it is very handy for some of my more non-traditional hobbies/interests. But basically it is a curse.

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    Thank you bae, i know that there was this romanticizing of empathy in my opinion. It sucks imho. I work at not tearing up all the time, at putting things in perspective and being misunderstood. It is really nice for other people when i can be there for them, but honestly my work doesn't want this.

    Reminds me of a training to get your brain to cross talk more, like who would really want that. I find that the outside the box thinking is not what anyone wants even though they say they do

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    Senior Member flowerseverywhere's Avatar
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    it can be a good trait but keeping it in check is very difficult but important. When you work with people it is easy to get overwhelmed by sadness. You would think in our advanced society life would be easier, but unfortunately the pressures of society and the increase in poverty or middle class people struggling to stay afloat is truly sad. You have struggled to better yourself, and you know how hard it is. Sometimes one step forward is so hard, and two steps back can happen in the blink of an eye.
    All you can do every day is your best. We are all unique and for my faults, I personally don’t want to lose my uniqueness. Bad and good.

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    I have the gift of insensitivity, for which I am truly grateful. It helps shield me from people trying to make their problems my problems, and allows me to help the people I choose to help in a more practical manner.

  6. #6
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LDAHL View Post
    I have the gift of insensitivity, for which I am truly grateful. It helps shield me from people trying to make their problems my problems, and allows me to help the people I choose to help in a more practical manner.
    Yep, me too. I DO consider it a gift. Just the other day I was talking to my close friend about a new neighbor. My friend said “I don’t think she likes me.” I said, “hey, I got that same vibe from her about me, and you know how insensitive I am. So if I get the vibe also, then we KNOW there is trouble from that person. “

    Rather than an early detector of trouble I am the confirmer, a valuable role, hahah..we can ignore the early alarmists because they cry wolf too often, but if Iris senses trouble with a person then there is trouble! I used to be like that at work, the person who figured out that by the time I considered someone a giant pain in my ass, many had written that same person off as PITA.

    I often think I should lead classes in setting boundaries with other humans, self actualization, and the like. Yeah, I will be a “life coach!” ‘Cept who would hire me? I wont stroke them and fondle their little egos. “Tough Love Coaching, Baby! “ would be my motto.

  7. #7
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Iris Lilies' post reminds me of my all-time favorite counselor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfmVBmDKLZI

    My empathy is strong when it comes to the helpless (animals, small children, the elderly), and diminishes from there. I've had a lot of exposure lately to emotionally taxing situations, and so far I'm holding up OK, so I think I've hit the right balance.

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    I don't have ulcers. I give them. -- Harry Cohn, entertainment mogul.

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    I am very empathetic which is why I changed careers a few times. I found that working as a therapist and social worker were really tough on me emotionally. When I decided to get into vocational testing and career counseling it was a much better fit because I was helping people but did not have a long term relationship with them.

  10. #10
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    I am overly empathic. I find I must carefully curate my exposure to other people, or their feelings/emotions override mine.
    +1

    I think that's why I like being alone for long stretches of time. I get to recharge my batteries and refresh the "me" in me.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

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