Well I think it is too late to use some of those techniques! I really did try at first to do many of them. I have not gone over his head unless I just could not do my job, however that has definitely provoked a kind of revenge.

I did read the article and some related ones, and I know that my reactions have been difficult as well. I am really surprised by myself honestly, the fact that 3 out of 4 of us have lost our tempers is not quite enough. I am the mindfulness person, however that does not mean perfection. In our meeting this week I tried so hard, statements about accepting responsibility, not pushing back on the feedback I had asked from him 2 times, asking specifically what it would look like to him to take responsibility, etc.

Exhausting, I realize that being able to give really clear feedback, to understand and express specifically what you are looking for and to have a clarity about your own emotions are actually skills based on emotional work that not everyone has done. I wonder if times when I am able to express that for myself may be threatening to him? I know he has a style that is more passive? In one case he just kept repeating that I needed to hold a staff accountable, but failed to say that they would not be hired for summer. So in the case where I made the same decision I would say they needed to be accountable and include what was next for a consequence.