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Thread: Teach Your Children

  1. #21
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    Anm - she said she hoped to have the opportunity to broaden her skills and move into a mentor or leadership role.

  2. #22
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    mentor or leadership role is good. Just a leadership role or saying you want to move up in the company is dangerous I think, as many jobs are not being hired for with any intention of you moving anywhere, and so you don't want to show any ambition beyond doing excellent at the job you are interviewing for.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  3. #23
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore View Post
    many jobs are not being hired for with any intention of you moving anywhere, and so you don't want to show any ambition beyond doing excellent at the job you are interviewing for.
    I think that depends on the interviewer. I once had a hiring manager tell me he viewed with suspicion anyone who didn't move around every couple of years in his/her career (which he had done; MHO is he was no great shakes at his job). I, on the other hand, having been in the business far longer than him, have seen the difference between six years' experience and two years of experience three times. There is value to staying in a position long enough to master it and make inroads rather than get to competency and then move on. He didn't see it.

    I've also seen how shabbily corporations treat the "plodders" -- the folks who keep their nose to the grindstone and get the work done. They can do fantastic work; they do not resist change; they do not seek publicity for their role. They just like what they do, they're Steady Eddies at it, and they're smart enough to see the funnel that leads to the top positions and the noose that goes around the middle managers and to decide that's not for them. Those folks get abused.
    If Americans expended even a fraction of the energy on civic engagement that we spend on consumer ideology, our democracy would be much healthier. Can you imagine people camping out to vote? -- Charles Roberts, Amherst, Mass., Nov. 25, 2006

  4. #24
    Senior Member Gardenarian's Avatar
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    My Dd is 19 (just) and, while she respects my opinion, she would be shocked if dh or I tried to meddle in her affairs.

    Despite having a trust fund, she is working 30 hours per week while attending college full time (dual major, Biology and Environmental Policy - I don't know if what you do as an undergrad has much to do with future life. It didn't for me.) The college is a 5 minute walk from our house so she's been living at home.

    She's looking for her own place and still refuses to use any of the money from her trust - she wants to feel truly independent, but that money is hers, and I do worry that she works too hard. But her grades are good and she's making a bit of a name for herself singing, so I guess she knows what she's doing.

    Probably knowing she has a large safety net makes it easier for her to take risks.

    She came out as gay a while ago, but has since become bi. Really doesn't matter to me; all her friends I've met have been smart, charming, hard workers, sweet kids.

    Homeschooling made us a very close family, and also blurred the line between adult/child - we learned from each other (still do.)

    I do have strong feelings about her 2 (small) tattoos, but nevermind.

  5. #25
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gardenarian View Post
    My Dd is 19 (just) and, while she respects my opinion, she would be shocked if dh or I tried to meddle in her affairs.

    Despite having a trust fund, she is working 30 hours per week while attending college full time (dual major, Biology and Environmental Policy - I don't know if what you do as an undergrad has much to do with future life. It didn't for me.) The college is a 5 minute walk from our house so she's been living at home.

    She's looking for her own place and still refuses to use any of the money from her trust - she wants to feel truly independent, but that money is hers, and I do worry that she works too hard. But her grades are good and she's making a bit of a name for herself singing, so I guess she knows what she's doing.

    Probably knowing she has a large safety net makes it easier for her to take risks.

    She came out as gay a while ago, but has since become bi. Really doesn't matter to me; all her friends I've met have been smart, charming, hard workers, sweet kids.

    Homeschooling made us a very close family, and also blurred the line between adult/child - we learned from each other (still do.)


    I do have strong feelings about her 2 (small) tattoos, but nevermind.
    awwww, this kid sounds great! So involved in many things, and successful at them!

    Way to go, mom! You had a hand in that!

  6. #26
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SteveinMN View Post
    I think that depends on the interviewer. I once had a hiring manager tell me he viewed with suspicion anyone who didn't move around every couple of years in his/her career (which he had done; MHO is he was no great shakes at his job). I, on the other hand, having been in the business far longer than him, have seen the difference between six years' experience and two years of experience three times. There is value to staying in a position long enough to master it and make inroads rather than get to competency and then move on. He didn't see it.

    I've also seen how shabbily corporations treat the "plodders" -- the folks who keep their nose to the grindstone and get the work done. They can do fantastic work; they do not resist change; they do not seek publicity for their role. They just like what they do, they're Steady Eddies at it, and they're smart enough to see the funnel that leads to the top positions and the noose that goes around the middle managers and to decide that's not for them. Those folks get abused.
    I had a couple of Steady Eddies at my job and when they spoke up about something, I listened and I made sure upper echelons knew their opinion. Even if they werent necessarily right, theirs was a valued opinion, and I told them so.

    I also impressed on them that their single opinion was worth more to me than the people who came into my office to complain about somethings saying “and other people think so, too.” Those who fancied themselves representatives of others actually lost credibility with me since they looked as though they were shoring up their opinions by adding faceless supporters.
    Last edited by iris lilies; 6-5-18 at 3:21pm.

  7. #27
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    Those who fancied themselves representatives of others actually lost credibility with me since they looked as though they were shoring up their opinions by adding faceless supporters.
    Good on ya!

    I've seen more than my share of (bad) policy made by people who extrapolated opinions from n=1 (there was no n=2).
    If Americans expended even a fraction of the energy on civic engagement that we spend on consumer ideology, our democracy would be much healthier. Can you imagine people camping out to vote? -- Charles Roberts, Amherst, Mass., Nov. 25, 2006

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