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Thread: Teach Your Children

  1. #11
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    I encouraged my super-genius daughter to apply to Annapolis, and she did in fairness give it due consideration.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Simplemind's Avatar
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    I would have only worried if mine never left the basement or put down the game controller...…………….. (not exactly the truth since we don't have a basement and we rarely let him play video games but you get my drift)

  3. #13
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    Tammy I totally agree with you.

  4. #14
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    15-18 year olds are adults in some ways and not in others, they know their own minds and desires - maybe as well as they will decades hence. However, they don't know the world, and well that can make them pretty darn stupid in many ways since they may have no clue what they will be dealing with.

    One thing my dad did was keep us out of the military, wise man there, whatever other flaws he might have had.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  5. #15
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    I found the book Unequal Childhoods interesting reading. Social class impacts our parenting styles in terms of how much direction we give our children and what our expectations for them are.

  6. #16
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simplemind View Post
    I would have only worried if mine never left the basement or put down the game controller...…………….. (not exactly the truth since we don't have a basement and we rarely let him play video games but you get my drift)
    That's the way I see it.

    I've tended to take the parental advice of Kahlil Gibran:

    Your children are not your children.
    They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
    They come through you but not from you,
    And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

    You may strive to be like them,
    but seek not to make them like you.
    For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

    One of the things I love about DH is that he is kind of a wild, gregarious guy who loves theatre and cries every day--not the kind of guy you would expect to see in the military. But one day when he was 18 he sensed he was headed down the wrong path in life and he walked into a Marine recruiting station and signed up. No forethought--just instinct. His mother went nuts--she was a widow with a young son who DH had helped to raise. He now considers it one of his greatest achievements, and although he only enlisted for 2 years, he still wears his USMC hat every day. I have no doubt it made him a better man.

    I'd lie if I didn't say that my kids' choices didn't keep me up at night--my son dropping out of high school; my daughter living in some very bad neighborhoods so she could afford the low pay she got from the food non-profit she worked for; my son deciding to pursue music rather than go to college... but it's their lives, and they've done just fine without me. I am not always the best captain of my own ship--never mind trying to steer the lives of people with their own internal compasses that I am not privy to.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  7. #17
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    My youngest had a phone interview yesterday. She was telling me about it at dinner, and she said “she asked me where I saw myself in five years, and all I could think was ‘five years?! Omg, I just want to get out of my parents’ house!’ ”

  8. #18
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    Too funny CL. I never told my adult kids once 18 what to do. We all have our own lives to live. The military has saved many young men and helped them grow up. It has also damaged others through war trauma. I also see the trades as a good option for many. There is no one path.

  9. #19
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    My youngest had a phone interview yesterday. She was telling me about it at dinner, and she said “she asked me where I saw myself in five years, and all I could think was ‘five years?! Omg, I just want to get out of my parents’ house!’ "
    well she's young, but what you learn is you prepare canned answers for canned interview questions Because uh very few of us at any age really know where we want to be in 5 years. And no, retired is never an acceptable answer no matter of age or truth.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    I encouraged my super-genius daughter to apply to Annapolis, and she did in fairness give it due consideration.
    We used to refer to Academy grads as “ring-knockers”, because so many of them ostentatiously displayed their class rings in an effort to impress.

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