I believe the ideal ratio of positive to negative interactions is 5:1 in a successful relationship. https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-mag...rding-science/ Makes sense, but I think it should come easily; if you have to force yourself just to do that much then it's a red flag.
I hold my wife’s hand when we walk. I’m sure we look like the perfect couple. Truth is ....she trips over the slightest imperfections in the sidewalk and I hold her up. It’s either that or a skinned knee or broken wrist. And I don’t want to sit in the ER waiting room.
One of the best pieces of advice I'd ever read was "Better to be alone than wish you were."Originally Posted by JaneV2.0
You can squabble over little things. I worked for several years in a cube near a guy who would have a knock-down-drag-out fight with his wife over the phone maybe 2-3 times a year. Little profanity but lots of raised voices and hanging up on each other. They've been married for 30 years. Apparently this way to behave works for them.
DW and I probably could write lists of what each does that annoys the other. If it's really bothersome, we'll say something (and hope for the best; change is not guaranteed). But we chose to look the other way a lot because, in the long run, traits like leaving trails of mail throughout the house (her) or a dogged insistence on how to load the dishwasher (me) really don't matter as much to us as the exhibitions of kindness, integrity, listening, etc. There are no petty squabbles here; we've been in enough relationships to know that bickering (for us) is not a substitute for attachment. The two of you simply have to decide that's how you'll behave. No real magic there (with the right personalities).
Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. - Booker T. Washington
You know that scene in Date Night with all the drawers open. Yea, that's me. I work so hard to close my drawer in the bathroom or all the kitchen cabinets now. Took me 28 years but I'm better....mostly. DH still leaves a pair of socks by the bed every day. According to him it's not the same thing.
Float On: My "Happy Place" is on my little kayak in the coves of Table Rock Lake.
I remember that we had a conversation a few months back about my SO and your shared "paper trail" habit, and now I learn that you and he are both believers in an "open door policy"??? The two of you really would be perfect for each other! (The first time I went to his apartment all the kitchen cabinets were wide open. Because, hey, you'll need something out of them eventually, so why force yourself to go through the hassle of re-opening it.
I've decided that if we ever build a house/renovate a kitchen that we'll just install shelves, not cabinets. It'll be cheaper, he'll like the convenience, and I'll like not having to worry about banging my melon on doors.
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