Romance Scammers......

[iris lilies]

Oh, i am definately low maintenance, never have had pedicure or manicure, cut my own hair, am not even sure what facial makeup I own. I think lotions and grooming potions are a scam. Clothing from thrift stores. Etc,

All of that was great when I was in my 20’ 30’s 40’s when youth shined, everyone is pretty at those ages! For the demographic in which I circulated, no one cared about that stuff.

But now at my advanced age, I think a little more care or polish would be a good thing, haha. A professional haircut would be an improvement.

damn though,
I still like my fingernails after 64 years. They are short and clean most of the time. I now wear garden glves, didnt use to do that. It keeps dirt out of my fingernails! Who knew!??Haha. I never think about my cuticles or my eyebrows, often objects of attention for the high maintenance folks.

[iris lilies]

Men think I am too. I have allergies and asthma and Maltese is one of the few breeds that I am not allergic too. Plus they are small, cute and needy all of which I like. I don’t get manicures, pedicures, buy fancy clothes, etc.

i woild like small, cute and needy. Just one of them. But I think
I woild prefer the more laid back personality of a pug.
Terriers are too —I dont know, doggy? Stubborn? Frenchies are bossy and not bright.

[Ultralight]

Men think I am too. I have allergies and asthma and Maltese is one of the few breeds that I am not allergic too. Plus they are small, cute and needy all of which I like. I don’t get manicures, pedicures, buy fancy clothes, etc.

One can be emotionally high maintenance too.

[Teacher Terry]

UL, you are emotionally high maintenance. At one point we had 4 Maltese due to taking old, fat, disabled unwanted Maltese. I no longer want to take care of that many. 2 is much easier. Especially when they get old and need medications. I enjoy having a dog on my lap when I am reading, watching tv or knitting. Occasionally Maltese can be stubborn but not usually.

[bae]

I disagree. Doing a little window shopping does not mean he is really ready for something. It could also just be curiosity about online dating or who is out there. That sort of thing.

Just so. My daughter informed me that "online dating is the thing these days".

I live on a small island, with a small population. The popular saying here is "the goods are odd, but the odds are good". Furthermore, my own interests and requirements select out a large portion of any population.

I am trying to decide whether, in the future, if I wish to have a relationship, I will stay here, broaden my geographic search area, or move elsewhere.

So, I signed up a sort-of-anonymous profile on Tinder and Grindr, to examine the online pool within 10-15 miles of me.

And discovered that while there was on each site an active pool of people even in the local area, there were only a handful of folks who were within the quite wide range of age and interests and personality I used for my initial data gathering. Judging purely from their profiles.

Interestingly, men and trans folks on Grindr had the most overlap with my requirements - while it was heavily biased towards within-1-hour hookups, the rest of the folks were looking for more, but not too much more. Even though this island is quite LGBTQ-friendly, it's still a small small community, and people are somewhat circumspect - the "Out On The Island" group has about two dozen people in it.

Judging from our year-round population of perhaps 5000 people, some thoughts:

Our median age is 56.5 years. I'm 55.

55% of the population is married.

Of the single dating pool, between the ages of 40-65, are 52% of the men, and 63% of the women. Interestingly, the data cuts off at age 65, apparently single people past that age are assumed to be sexless/relationshipless.

Now to brass tacks:

~35% of the population is between 40 and 65. 52% is over 65.

If I limit my analysis to 40-65, then there are 1750 men and women within that range here.

I don't have per-age-cadre data on marriage rates, so assume it's 50% within this range. Eyeballing the proportions in the data I have on the proportion of the single population within each age cadre, that seems reasonable. That leaves 875 single people within the "appropriate" age range.

Hmmm - that doesn't seem *too* terrible.

But if one then applies filters for interests, tolerance, and so on, I suspect 90% of folks get ruled out. (This is just a wild-assed guess,)

Still, ~88 people in the dating pool here, assuming I don't care about gender/orientation.

[Ultralight]

UL, you are emotionally high maintenance.

Captain Obvious.

[Ultralight]

Here is a woman's self-summary:

"I'm just a single hard working mom. I normally work 6 days a week and when I'm not at work I have my son. If I ever want to do anything without my boy I have to plan ahead about a week, so if you're a spur of the moment kind of guy it probably won't work."

This is pretty common, though sometimes it is shorter or longer or worded differently.

[Ultralight]

Here are a few other illustrative personal summaries from internet dating land:

"I’m selective don’t waste my time I won’t waste yours. I’m in search of someone to converse with and see what happens... be over 35....Single....and employed and African American and at least 6ft"

Keep in mind this woman is probably almost 300 lbs. and has untold numbers of kids.

There is also this one, which is very typical:

"Well let's see I'm a very fun and loveable person love to have fun love anything outdoors not a picky person if u wanna no anything just ask"

Again, very big gal with kids.

Here is another gem:

"To start off im not your baby so please dont call me that. I dont want to have intercourse with you so dont try to talk to me if thats your intentions. I dont want to come to your house and drink. That is not a date unlike most females on here i have class and still believe in dating. If you dont know how to hold a conversation and think that your going to just text me dont even bother. I need an adult not a child. I want someone God fearing. A someone with morals and goals and actually want a relationship not a booty call."

[Ultralight]

Just so. My daughter informed me that "online dating is the thing these days".

I live on a small island, with a small population. The popular saying here is "the goods are odd, but the odds are good". Furthermore, my own interests and requirements select out a large portion of any population.

I am trying to decide whether, in the future, if I wish to have a relationship, I will stay here, broaden my geographic search area, or move elsewhere.

So, I signed up a sort-of-anonymous profile on Tinder and Grindr, to examine the online pool within 10-15 miles of me.

And discovered that while there was on each site an active pool of people even in the local area, there were only a handful of folks who were within the quite wide range of age and interests and personality I used for my initial data gathering. Judging purely from their profiles.

Interestingly, men and trans folks on Grindr had the most overlap with my requirements - while it was heavily biased towards within-1-hour hookups, the rest of the folks were looking for more, but not too much more. Even though this island is quite LGBTQ-friendly, it's still a small small community, and people are somewhat circumspect - the "Out On The Island" group has about two dozen people in it.

Judging from our year-round population of perhaps 5000 people, some thoughts:

Our median age is 56.5 years. I'm 55.

55% of the population is married.

Of the single dating pool, between the ages of 40-65, are 52% of the men, and 63% of the women. Interestingly, the data cuts off at age 65, apparently single people past that age are assumed to be sexless/relationshipless.

Now to brass tacks:

~35% of the population is between 40 and 65. 52% is over 65.

If I limit my analysis to 40-65, then there are 1750 men and women within that range here.

I don't have per-age-cadre data on marriage rates, so assume it's 50% within this range. Eyeballing the proportions in the data I have on the proportion of the single population within each age cadre, that seems reasonable. That leaves 875 single people within the "appropriate" age range.

Hmmm - that doesn't seem *too* terrible.

But if one then applies filters for interests, tolerance, and so on, I suspect 90% of folks get ruled out. (This is just a wild-assed guess,)

Still, ~88 people in the dating pool here, assuming I don't care about gender/orientation.

Awesome analysis! It is a tough game out there, even if you switch hit.

[herbgeek]

As for women's profiles I can tell why they are single because of things in their pictures:
-Multiple cats (crazy cat ladies)
-Multiple fru-fru dogs (if he dogs are high maintenance then she is too)
-Every picture is an enhanced selfie (she is a narcissist)
-Every picture is at a bar and she is getting schmammered; the caption says: "Just your typical Tuesday!"
-Extremely overweight and/or unhealthy appearance; SSBBWs are not what most men are looking for.

How is your penchant for labeling/putting people in boxes/dismissing wide swaths of people based on superficial characteristics working for you in getting closer to a life partner? Are there really that many women clamoring to date you that you need to assume that Every Single Person with a particular characteristic will behave Exactly The Same?

And I don't get why this is a problem:

"I'm just a single hard working mom. I normally work 6 days a week and when I'm not at work I have my son. If I ever want to do anything without my boy I have to plan ahead about a week, so if you're a spur of the moment kind of guy it probably won't work."

So this is a woman who is not expecting you to rescue you her financially, and takes her obligations to work and her family seriously. So she needs to secure a sitter a week ahead of time, how is this a problem?