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Thread: How often are people anxious

  1. #11
    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
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    I'd like to make the distinction between situation-specific nervousness and generalized anxiety. I have often, and continue to experience situation specific nervousness (ie before public speaking, a big meeting etc). That extra energy is helpful, as a number of people have mentioned, to focus on dealing with the situation at hand. What is new to me, and most disconcerting, is generalized anxiety. Its not related to anything specific. It appears to be energy I pick up from other people, because when I sit down with it and examine it, there is rarely anything to do with me or what /I/ need to be doing. When I am around people in distress, I find I am also anxious when I get home. I have a hard time getting rid of this anxious energy, even when I intellectually know it isn't me.

  2. #12
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    yea hearing "a little bit of anxiety is helpful" is about like saying "a little bit of depression is helpful". Uh whatever is that about. Whatever degree nerves working for me is probably greatly outnumbered by them being a major inner factor working against me.

    For me it's social anxiety that can spread around situations and become general anxiety, agoraphobia etc..

    Mind you I think I mask well and don't necessarily come across that way in person, it's mostly a lot of inner pain and other negative consequences.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  3. #13
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    I was always able to manage my anxiety with no problem as it was situationally induced. Then at 50 during menopause developed a different type and without a low dose pill would not have been able to work. Found out about 5 years later before my mom died that it runs in my family about menopause time . Tried twice after retiring to go off it and it didn’t go well. Thankfully I was able to recognize it on my own due to my training.

  4. #14
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    First of all thank you Iris, that was very sweet. It is a challenge but I made it through another day! Today was a HUGE whopper.

    Herbgeek, if you are empathic to any extent (more than just having empathy) then an important part of staying sane is recognizing what it yours and what isn't. I went through a time when I really hated my body and being female, and then realized there was a surge of politics that was affecting (against planned parenthood and others). I had not hated my body before so it felt very weird. I recognized it as not mine and then shifted my influences which helped.

    I also never appeared to have an anxiety issue, my sister did for a long time. Then I found that around the beginning of menopause it was definitely starting or increasing to a point I really needed to deal with it.

  5. #15
    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
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    For those with anxiety that started @ menopause, is this just a temporary thing that eventually gets better, or is this a new normal? Scary for me, as I've mostly been rational and not subjected to hormonal mood swings.

  6. #16
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by herbgeek View Post
    For those with anxiety that started @ menopause, is this just a temporary thing that eventually gets better, or is this a new normal? Scary for me, as I've mostly been rational and not subjected to hormonal mood swings.
    Relax, you may well sail through menopause just fine.
    I had no hormonal anxiety or much else of note, really. I did have heart palpatations which I tied to coffee. Gave up coffee for 18 months, then went back to it and all is well.

  7. #17
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    New normal for me as it was for my mom and aunt

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    Relax, you may well sail through menopause just fine.
    I had no hormonal anxiety or much else of note, really. I did have heart palpatations which I tied to coffee. Gave up coffee for 18 months, then went back to it and all is well.
    I have the heart thing too, I used to get anxiety because of it until I had myself checked out. It is uncomfortable but not in a scary range according to DR. So that helps me just ride it out. Since I am going on 11 hours today and 17,000 steps I am NOT giving up the caffeine at this point.

  9. #19
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore View Post
    yea hearing "a little bit of anxiety is helpful" is about like saying "a little bit of depression is helpful". Uh whatever is that about....
    Oh you are so,right. I am likely using the label “anxiety” incorrectly.

    I mean this: a state of heightened awareness, and uber focus, and nervousness about an outcome.

    That is certainly not therapist-level anxiety.

    DH has spells of anxiety where he gets wound up and nervous and on edge and u happy and cannot sleep. The lack of sleep feeds all of the previously mentioned symptons. When this happens, every few years, he goes to a therapist for a few sessions, gets drugs to help hi. Sleep, snd it all calms down.

  10. #20
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    I have anxiety about certain things (like crime) which I control with rituals (such as checking that all the doors are locked before I go to bed at night, even though I know they are locked). It is not a general or disabling anxiety but does give me little touches of OCD.

    When I was in an abusive marriage I was very skittish at home never knowing what would set him off, but was able to function and flourish at work. The anxiety made me alert and protected me, but it wore me down. After I left him I felt like a great cloud had been lifted off me. ZG, if and when you get a better job I bet you will also lose a cloud or two. In the meantime like IL says you are coping well in a bad situation.

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