Kay, one of my 3 sons is 41 with a serious drug problem. He gets clean, gets a job , we all get hopeful and then down the shit tube again. None of us let him live with us anymore or give him money. We give support when he is clean and working. I can get pretty down if I focus too much on that. I hope you have another child that brings you some joy. My BF’s Mom has helped with this because she raised 5 kids in a loving home and 2 are all messed up and still on drugs in their 60’s.