This is in open because it is work, healthcare, relationships, maybe some spirituality thrown in.
This is the first week of summer camp. I have been struggling with insomnia since December, started with some anxiety treatment a couple months ago, and now this camp. I got this site with 1 1/2 weeks notice, staff in the hiring process, totally unknown children and numbers, a site with no printer, copier or supplies, and a few other issues (you may have read about the poor dad who spoke only Burmese and went to the wrong bus stop).
So the camp is not going well (I hear that several of the similar sites are also a wreck),
Today I checked my email and it had a list of follow ups from my summer sup to do, I was already up past 10 last night, I was up again early today, my old sup was on his way over, and I had a field trip to get ready for that I felt totally not prepared for, and
not enough hours to possibly make it work. I was so worried about missing things or making excuses to old sup or anything. I just starting tearing up and called current sup. I walked outside to talk and at first he tried to help me break down the tasks, and then it was obvious that I could not mentally manage that. So he had me just take a break, by the time I got back for the meeting with my old sup he had called him and their supervisor. The calvary came in and took over, I appreciate the higher supervisor and how she responded. I was not able to process everything, and what I could process was slow. I helped them get the basics together and pass things over, it took a few hours. She seemed to understand that I was really doing my best. Honestly I had done my job but I could not keep it up, and to not be 100% on a field trip tomorrow as the only one delegated for medication for a brittle diabetic was not a good situation.
I actually feel I am more clear than I have been in awhile. I need to do paperwork to be on a type of leave, I will get to that. Meanwhile I can maybe sleep tonight. I just know that 4 hours ago I was obviously not okay. Like if you had a short conversation with me you would notice I was not tracking information or processing very well. I have an appointment with psychiatrist but not for over a week. He is good about emailing too. And I can walk, start to cut the caffeine down, maybe even sleep.