Depression, self talk, and asking for what you need

[Teacher Terry]

It seems to me that you set yourself up for failure each day because your list is so big that only Superwoman could get it done)

[Chicken lady]

I asked about the sitting because I also get tired and sometimes have a day when I sit a lot, but if I had a sitting job also, that would be too much sitting! It sounds like you don’t sit at work much!

The boy and I ate popovers, took some goats for a walk, played with Legos, made ice cream and chocolate chip cookies, ate lunch, played the piano, got out the big rocking horse (holds up to 140lbs), and wore my legs out on the seesaw. He also played in the hammock while I pulled weeds in the flower bed next to it and shot baskets while I visited with his mom.

i have had a very good day.

i’m going to stretch out for a few minutes and then go pick some blueberries at my friend’s house, stop for zuchini and come home to make dinner.

[SteveinMN]

It seems to me that you set yourself up for failure each day because your list is so big that only Superwoman could get it done

I think if one ever gets to the end of one's to-do list, there's a big problem.

I have several lists of projects/tasks on my computer/phone. One is for DW's and my house; one is specifically for yard/landscaping projects; another for my Mom's rental; there's a list of stuff I need to remember to buy when I'm out and about. Though I shouldn't do this, my email inboxes serve as to-do lists ("remember to shop insurance" "write that product review"). Then there's the stuff like washing dishes and taking out the recycling and feeding the dog that don't even make the list because they happen all. the. time.

It may be true that only Superwoman could get CL's list done in a day. But IMHO there's nothing wrong with listing everything that a person wants to get done and trying to tackle as much of it as possible. The key, I think, is being willing to reassess the priority of what gets done based on need (your own or others of importance to you) and either de-prioritizing or bumping things off the list if they no longer hold sufficient value. I see what CL is doing as more of an organizational method than setting herself up for failure daily. Plus she seems very busy. Again, the main issue is if the tasks/goals are never reevaluated in the face of new information.

[Teacher Terry]

Steve, that’s a interesting perspective. I only make lists for things that I don’t do regularly. I don’t need a list for my job either.

[Chicken lady]

I am more like Steve. I make lists for everything. I use the “notes” ap. I have one list for each day that I add the remains from yesterday to the bottom of.

every list almost every day starts “breakfast, lunch, chores -milk, fill water...” most days say “dishes” some days say “laundry” I even write shower and brush teeth on the hard days. Every day ends with “set up coffee”

I also have lists for my job. They are called lesson plans. Plus, I write all the materials I will need down to pencils and paper on every lesson plan.

dinner was one too many things. I was about to struggle through it when Dd came home and asked “can we trade? I’ll make dinner tonight and you can do tomorrow?”

i do need to clean up the cookie dishes. That is not on my list.

[dado potato]

FWIW:
Tide nor time tarrieth no man.


I see a forecast for rain tomorrow, so I plan on baking bread.


Trading with Dd is the bee's knees, Chicken lady. (My grand-daughter is staying here for a few weeks, and she saw me tenderizing a sirloin steak today, and I could tell she wanted to take a few whacks at it. "Nothing we do for the young is completely wasted.")

[Tammy]

Is it OCD? Writing to brush teeth and shower on a list? Or would you really forget if you didn’t write it down?

[Chicken lady]

I would really forget.

If I clean stalls or something, I take a shower. I feel like I need a shower and I take one. If I am struggling and just puttering around the house or sitting a lot, I just slowly get dirtier and dh will end up looking at me and asking “when was the last time you took a shower?”

i forgot to brush my teeth last night. It wasn’t on my list because I was doing better, and dh went to bed before me, which almost never happens, and my evening cues were messed up, and I forgot to brush my teeth.

i woke up early because I was supposed to have a friend over for the first time today (nervous/excited) and discovered that she e-mailed me late last night that she can’t come. Her mother lives in town and is older and in poor health and needs her today. So now I am sad/sorry/but also relieved. It was a lot to take on on top of having the boy yesterday, and maybe my house will be a little better when she does come. But I really like this person and I really want to be friends outside of work. Also i hope her mom is ok.

also, she started her e-mail with “don’t hate me”. Maybe she is nervous about this too. She is like the popular girl in school at work - not the mean one, the one who can eat lunch wherever she wants and facilitates the group project because everybody just listens to her. And when I have had a chance to work with her on something, it has really been fun. So I got brave and suggested we get together over the summer some time and she gave me her personal e-mail and it took me a whole month to schedule something. And she leaves for Texas in two and a half weeks and won’t be back until school starts.

[Chicken lady]

I got a little done this morning, but my brain was pushing me to take advantage of the cool weather and clean stalls, and I just couldn’t do it. By 11:30 I had given up and given in to snacking and watching videos. I’m trying to be gentle with myself about that - it started raining not long after noon. I was tired from yesterday, I was disappointed. But it is hard not to focus on wasted time, and my stomach actually doesn’t feel good.

and then this came in my e-mail for no apparent reason:

“hope you have a great summer. Thanks so much for all you've done for my kids these past few years. It's truly appreciated. I think we're even better farmers because of you. :-)”

i believe, lord help thou mine unbelief....

also, 11:30 was 7 hours after I got up.

[Tybee]

that's a nice email, for sure!
Do you think you might struggle with feeling you are of worth? What would a day look like where you did not "waste time"?