Tybee, I actually like the panda planner! I really like it. The problem is, I think I like it the way I like ice cream - I would enjoy it, and I would incorporate it into my life in ways that are bad for me.
that’s about me, not your idea. I hope it works for you.
i’m sorry if people feel like I am shooting them down personally. I am looking for ideas and discussion. I figure most of them aren't going to work, but often in exploring them I do get insights that are helpful. I don’t expect you to be able to find a solution for me because you don’t know me, you don’t see my life, all you have is the little slices I share with you. In that way you are limited in exactly the way the therapist would be. To me, it feels like a discussion and not an argument. (Maybe I should write more about the “why people keep telling me I’m on the autism spectrum” part of my life....)
i think therapists do amazing work. And I am fully in support of them for people who are able to benefit from them. I also think religion can be a powerful force for good in a person’s life. There are times I have thought of how comforting it would be to have that kind of certainty. but I am completely unable to take the leap of faith and drop the cynicism it would require. It’s not an opinion, it’s a personality trait that seems to be hardwired. And yes, I absolutely agree that it is “guaranteed to make it so that [i am not] going to get much help out of a therapist.”
apparently i I have other traits that are guaranteed to piss off the people who are actually willing to throw ideas at me.
here is how I see the exchange - I am short of ideas, so I throw out some basic information - we don’t have 50 years to cover my whole life. someone throws out an idea that works for them or is sparked by something I said. I run the idea by my own experience and either use all or part of it or try to clarify why I can’t use it by providing more information about me. This response has nothing you do with the other person as an individual nor does it indicate skepticism or dismissal of their idea as a solution for them. (My mother in law loves the color orange. She wears a lot of orange clothing. I strongly dislike the color orange and would only wear it if dressing up for Halloween. But I would totally buy her an orange sweater...) I hope the new information will spark new ideas and someone will want to share them with me.
i honestly don’t understand why it would be upsetting to people that their ideas don’t work for me, I am a random stranger on the internet. How can they have an emotional investment in me? They don’t really know me. I’m sure there are well written books that are more valuable in their lives. If I disappear tomorrow, you won’t really miss me. Maybe as much as a cancelled tv show you enjoyed. I could change which parts of my life i share and seem like a completely different person. One of my high school students recently described me as “always happy.”
cleaning the stove was really manageable and satisfying. I may be on to something here - having an editor between me and my list....
i have left:
fill out a calendar for July and possibly sign up for some fun workshops, work at the food bank (2.5 hours), and the kitty box. The rest of the day fooling around in the pottery studio.