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Thread: Fat Acceptance/Fat Pride Movement

  1. #31
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    The best antidote to "shaming" is self-confidence, or admitting the person has a point and changing (or deciding it is not worth changing and then self-confidence again).
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  2. #32
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    So which route are you taking?

  3. #33
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    I could write a lot about “shaming” on Nextdoor because there is constant push back about the posts that are, to some people, “shaming.”


    But I probably won’t write much because really, who cares?


    Suffice to say that “shaming” is not always “shaming.”

  4. #34
    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
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    Okay, "within earshot" is imprecise. Can you give me a certain number of feet or yards difference?
    Ok now you are being a jerk. Yes I'm jerk shaming.

  5. #35
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by herbgeek View Post
    Ok now you are being a jerk. Yes I'm jerk shaming.
    OM fking G!!! So funny!

  6. #36
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    My daughter has been home from college now for a few weeks.

    On several occasions since her return, I have observed her being "thin-shamed".

    She didn't gain weight at college. She in fact got much stronger and stringier and more agile. She exudes an aura of "effortlessly healthy and capable mammal". Yet people are encouraging her to eat more, pointing out how "thin" she is, worrying about her health and mental status because, well, she's not fat.

    She almost crushed me in saber fencing this morning, I still have quite an edge on longsword though. Age and treachery will not save me much longer, even though I am vastly stronger, and still reasonably quick. I think part of it is that her reaction time is clearly faster than mine, and she has enough speed, advantage in reach, and her stringy-strength is better in some ways than my "heavy things" strength.

  7. #37
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    Intentionality is the key. If you fully intend for somebody to hear you make a derogatory comment about them, thats shaming. If you point and say something mean, thats shaming.

    I think theres a real difference between shaming somebody over their weight or crooked teeth or lack of education and being ashamed of doing something bad. So if you drive drunk and crash the car into the mailbox, and your wife says You should be ashamed of yourself!, that Id not shaming. If your wife gets into a major rant at a dinner party, and everybody is shuffling in their seats, its not shaming her to say I was really ashamed of your behaviour.

    Its shaming if your wife makes fun of your erectile dysfunction st a gathering. Its shaming if you make a mockery of the size of her underpants.

    It seems very clear to me. If somebody is out to be nasty to or about a specific person, and makes sure that person hears them, thats shaming,

  8. #38
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    My daughter has been home from college now for a few weeks.

    On several occasions since her return, I have observed her being "thin-shamed".

    She didn't gain weight at college. She in fact got much stronger and stringier and more agile. She exudes an aura of "effortlessly healthy and capable mammal". Yet people are encouraging her to eat more, pointing out how "thin" she is, worrying about her health and mental status because, well, she's not fat.

    She almost crushed me in saber fencing this morning, I still have quite an edge on longsword though. Age and treachery will not save me much longer, even though I am vastly stronger, and still reasonably quick. I think part of it is that her reaction time is clearly faster than mine, and she has enough speed, advantage in reach, and her stringy-strength is better in some ways than my "heavy things" strength.
    Interesting family pastimes!
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  9. #39
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzanne View Post
    Intentionality is the key. If you fully intend for somebody to hear you make a derogatory comment about them, that’s shaming. If you point and say something mean, that’s shaming.

    I think there’s a real difference between shaming somebody over their weight or crooked teeth or lack of education and being ashamed of doing something bad. So if you drive drunk and crash the car into the mailbox, and your wife says “You should be ashamed of yourself!”, that I’d not shaming. If your wife gets into a major rant at a dinner party, and everybody is shuffling in their seats, it’s not shaming her to say “I was really ashamed of your behaviour.”

    It’s shaming if your wife makes fun of your erectile dysfunction st a gathering. It’s shaming if you make a mockery of the size of her underpants.

    It seems very clear to me. If somebody is out to be nasty to or about a specific person, and makes sure that person hears them, that’s shaming,

    Suzanne:

    I really appreciate your insights on this. I feel like I understand more now and can see distinctions. Thanks!
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  10. #40
    Senior Member KayLR's Avatar
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    I think Suzanne is right on about this. Been thinking a lot about this since reading it yesterday. Someone engaged in shaming is looking down on someone from their superior viewpoint and saying, "You really shouldn't be seen."
    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already!

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