All these people telling you what to do. They need to stop and you need to not listen to them.
All these people telling you what to do. They need to stop and you need to not listen to them.
Wow, stop and think about your own future. I would stay where I am and help as you can.
So what kind of reaction do you have if bread starts molding in the bag on the kitchen counter?
There are different types of mold, as well as the possibility of signs of mold from a time when it was being reroofed. (tarp blows up or wasn't down first, etc) I also wonder if the attic is somehow not an attic, but an open to the rest of the house space?
I would have a contractor take a look at it. It sounds like there might be a problem with the roof, or maybe the ventilation is not quite right.
I am also allergic to molds, but this would not be a deal breaker for me - not if it could be remediated at a reasonable cost and/or the sellers are paying for the work.
Maybe it's a sign. Maybe it is fixable. Maybe we should move. Maybe not. I guess my problem is that all this is not clear to me, and we are being pushed into decisions and honestly don't know the right thing to do.
I have always operated by the idea that if you are doing the right thing for you, you will be less stressed and you will feel at peace.
I can't seem to find much peace since these family problems have emerged, and I can't figure out how to accommodate them.
I am very worried about the money, and my ability to generate more in the future; we had set up a life where we could cope financially, and this is a big stretch.
We are definitely both underearners, no question. We haven't saved enough for retirement to live comfortably, and we are in our 60's,. so it is coming, the time when we can't work.
I miss my family and wish I lived near them. I love my parents and kids and would like them in my life.
Not really sure how much of an impact our houses have had in the past on my health. Looking at houses to purchase over the past year, there have been some with mold visible and not visible and I have had to grab my inhaler walking through, so the effect has been pretty immediate. To do certain things, I would have to load up on prednisone beforehand so I would not react. I don't think mold spores on bread in a bag is quite the same thing as mold spores in a house, but if you gave me penicillin or amoxicillin, which I think are made from bread mold, right, I would go into anaphylaxis. Ditto if I eat shrimp. But I am not saying penicillin should be outlawed or its bad or people who take it are better than me or worse--just differently made. And I love shrimp; if I ever have one of those prison last meals, I am going for fried shrimp. So I am not saying nobody should buy the house, or it is not a fixable problem for some, and maybe it's a fixable problem for us.
I do feel at peace when with my family in the East, so have thought we were doing the right thing. But getting a mortgage on a house and worrying about how to pay for it, and now worrying about issues like air quality, resale--like I said, even my husband is having panic attacks, and he never has panic attacks. There are two adults on our end who have to make this work and be at peace, not just one. I do not want to risk my marriage over this. But we both do want to move East, we just can't seem to figure out the right way to do it, and getting a mortgage again is bothering us both-- we both went through Dave Ramsey and do agree with the whole borrower is slave to the lender thing.
It has been nice with the three foreclosure houses we have bought, not having a mortgage. We did get into financial difficulty with one of the mortgaged houses, we got out in 2008 but lost all of money we put down and all the money we put into the house, and sold at a loss in 2008.
Sounds like you should wait for a more affordable house to come along.
It seems you answer your own questions here. Yes you would be happy to move. No, debt is not an option that will let us sleep at night. It seems all those who have decided you should come help, will need to pitch in so there is no mortgage or you stay put.
I know, easy for me to say sitting out here in cyberspace.
Wait until you both have peace about the move. The grandchildren that need babysitters will outgrow that need very quickly. One's parents will make the choices that suit them, not you. If you visit 4 times a year, consider the cost vs the cost of the move.
I have found that emotionally-based choices are almost always wrong vs slow careful rational choices.
You have the wisdom to decide rightly. Just a thought - if you move and your kids/grandkids need to move for a job, what happens?
As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”
If I remember right, you OP look for real estate that have some acreage (?) and outbuildings. .? I mean, you arent looking for simple two bedroom condos, so that wish list causes your real estate expenses to rise. This kind nd of life style is expensive to maintain on Coastal prices.
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