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Thread: Mold in attic?

  1. #21
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    I would let everyone know that you can only afford to move if you can pay cash. I am the same age as you and you cannot count on working at this age due to many reasons. You guys really need to look out for your own financial future. Nothing worse than being old and poor

  2. #22
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    I cannot remember if this point has been mentioned. Being 4 hours away is like a day away. I live 2 hours away and 7.5 hours away and it does take serious planning amidst all the other commitments everyone has to get together from all parties, including me.

    A friend commented that she would never move to be with her kids. Close and everyone assumes that visits will happen more easily but there are as many distractions and commitments to interfere with that as being far away. She said when she plans a visit, everyone makes an effort to schedule and share that time which is concentrated on the family visit. She then goes home content and the kids, of whatever age, carry on with their lives until the next gathering wherever that may be.
    As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

  3. #23
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    Terry, I like your idea about letting everyone know we can only afford to move if we can pay cash. I think I will do that. You are so right about not being able to count on getting work, and it has been part of my game plan to craft a life that is affordable with what we can bring in from social security at full retirement age.

    Razz, I hear you, and your friend may be right, I just don't know. We have wanted to be more involved as grandparents than what we are now--currently we probably see them only twice a year, and it hurts. But I hear what your friend is saying.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    Tybee, we don’t have as much $ as some on the forums and I think it is important for people to never be a financial burden to their kids. I think you guys are making a wise decision. Kids jobs are taking them all over the country now so I think it’s hard to follow them. I totally understand wanting to be by your grandchildren. Lots of hard choices. Plus throughout life when we make choices we never know how things will turn out. We all just do the best we can at the time.

  5. #25
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Re the grandkids... now we have grandchildren in two states. My VT son/wife had a baby a month ago today. My NJ son has two boys, 4 and 1. I am so happy to be close to my VT grandson, yet I miss my NJ grandsons. I don't want to be a Skype grandparent. My DGSs in NJ are adorable and wonderful and I don't want to become distant to them--one of the reasons I want to keep a foot in NJ. Of course, nothing is guaranteed, and I can't follow them around like sheep, but I'd love to know how long-distance grandparents manage to keep a good long-distance relationship going.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    Re the grandkids... now we have grandchildren in two states. My VT son/wife had a baby a month ago today. My NJ son has two boys, 4 and 1. I am so happy to be close to my VT grandson, yet I miss my NJ grandsons. I don't want to be a Skype grandparent. My DGSs in NJ are adorable and wonderful and I don't want to become distant to them--one of the reasons I want to keep a foot in NJ. Of course, nothing is guaranteed, and I can't follow them around like sheep, but I'd love to know how long-distance grandparents manage to keep a good long-distance relationship going.
    It's really hard, isn't it? One thing I am trying to get support for is having a family reunion each summer where all the grandchildren get together--at least you now have the perfect place for it!

  7. #27
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    My exercise instructor has kids in 3 states. They have a good relationship and both sides travel. She goes from IN to Maryland and the family comes to visit her. They both work to keep the relationships alive. It does not take daily contact to maintain relationships. I remember my grandparents although we seldom saw them due to vast distances and expense of travel for both sides. What I remember was what they taught me and what they shared about their lives.

    Another couple we know has a family in IL, IN and VA. They go back and forth to see the kids and make a point of bringing the grandkids to them. They have a BBQ every year (for 35 years) that the whole family comes to. Other holidays are alternated as far as possible due to in laws and such. They are all within driving distance.

    Both families stress maintaining the relationships regardless of distance or pure # of times they get together.

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