Getting through the days

[Zoe Girl]

So this 3 weeks is going to be long in many ways. I am trying to plan something to do and people to be around every day. So tomorrow i am going on a walk with a new friend, sunday night another friend invited me to dinner. Her family is out of town so she is wondering what to do.

I also have several meditation things, i am going to help out at the sit saturday night at the residential treatment center and lead a phone call on Sunday.

And since today looked like it would be without social interaction i went to the local coffee shop and brought my crochet. I talked to them about consignments and the split is 80 to 20, much better than anywhere else.

Still a lot of time to ruminate, which is not my friend generally. At least my roommate is back, we chatted for awhile last night but she has long work days this weekend.

[mschrisgo2]

Are you able to spend a couple of hours a day on job applications?

[Zoe Girl]

Possibly, depending on my brain. I am working on my crochet newsletter however

[gimmethesimplelife]

Hi ZG....I have had a lot of my own things going on and have not kept up with your posts recently but I know you are having your own stuff these days, too......here's a wish for you to hang in there and find the support you need to move on to whatever is next for you.....and thanks for thinking of me and for your kind words on one of my recent posts. I wish you direction and peace. Rob

[Zoe Girl]

Thanks gimme, I appreciate it. I am having some waves of shame over what I did not get done, and yet that is what my supervisors are responsible for. I have covered enough when my staff called out.

Anyway got out of the house in several ways and feel better, have a new medication to start in the morning.

[Chicken lady]

Zoe Girl, it is a job. You did the best you could do when you were at work, and when you recognized that you were too sick to continue, you stepped away. It is for the employer to figure out how to get the job done now. It is hard, because your job involves people and most of those people are children, but it is still a job. Not a personal commitment between friends or loved ones.

If your job was to carry rocks up a hill, and you broke a leg doing it, you would not feel guilty about the remaining pile of rocks that they were going to have to find someone else to carry while you were in a cast, right? In fact, in your case, it’s more like you got a stress fracture from the unreasonable weight of the rocks you were expected to carry and STILL took a few more up the hill before realizing you were too injured to continue.

i hope that your new medicine helps you.

[Teacher Terry]

Perfect analogy!

[Zoe Girl]

Thank you Chicken, I know in this business we take it close to heart but I honestly could not do it. Probably should have said so earlier but with under 2 weeks notice it is impossible to predict.

BTW I realize a lot of my stress was because of the medical and special needs that were put on us so quickly. We are basically in a position to accept everyone like the school day does but without resources. I realized that when I was planning my camp I had more information on and contact with those families 2 months ago than I had a week ago. Of course it was in a shared google doc that I just needed to filter and sort, with ALL the students eligible in the entire district. This work should have been ongoing for months, and maybe someone could have asked me how to do it.

[Gardnr]

I'm concerned that you are trying to fill your days with stuff to do and being with people rather than self-care, relaxation and reflection. You're doing not being.

[Zoe Girl]

I kinda get that gardnr, but I also could spend all day, every day, at home in silence and alone. I do need to get out and make some social contact on a regular basis, it would be so easy to just isolate. It would be different I think if I lived with my kids or a partner and saw people on a regular basis. I did have a nice hang out time with my roommate last night, other times she works very long days and was just on vacation for 2 weeks so a LOT Of solo time.