The Fat Acceptance/Pride thread had several responses suggesting that shaming isn’t an issue for people with self-confidence. So I’ve been wondering: how does a person develop self-confidence when they’re put down at every turn?

People with healthy self-esteem can be, often are, reduced to tatters when living or working in abusive situations. Intelligent, attractive, successful women end up in battered women’s shelters after months or years with somebody who shamed them at every turn and makes them believe that the abuse is all their own fault.

How does a plump person develop self esteem if their entire culture shames them at every turn? If nothing they do is ever good enough - that math award/Emmy/Job promotion is invisible in comparison to their weight? If they’re sneered at for starting a gym programme? Get the eye-roll and martyred sigh if they skip a gym day when they’re not feeling well? Verbally abused by strangers if they go running or swimming? If their achievements are put down - so what if you lost 20lb, you need to take off 50 more? Subjected to constant negative prophecy?