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Thread: Social contacts

  1. #11
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    He was no spring chicken and he had medical issues, so it was inevitable, but I still shake my fist at the sky and give him grief for leaving--on a daily basis. I didn't mean to hijack the thread.

    The important thing is that we determine what our personal sweet spot is re human contact and aim for it.

  2. #12
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    That is definitely a major loss, Jane. My sincere condolences.

    It's true that social media has kept us all more in touch, but in some ways I think of it as those television preachers. It can be engaging and even comforting, but I'm remembering a story that someone told years ago. Their mother was a devoted follower of a famous TV preacher and sent money regularly. However, upon her death, her adult children realized they had no connection with the local church of their mother's denomination. Fortunately that local pastor agreed to officiate at their mom's service despite her not being a member of the congregation.
    I guess my point is that there's no substitute for real in-the-flesh relationships.

    An older friend of mine lives in a nice gated senior community. There are a number of women on her street who are widowed or divorced like she is. A few of them made a "pact" as she describes it, to help each other out. Then sure enough one of the women broke her ankle, and the others were able to bring over meals and take her to her doctor appts. Of course it was for a limited time (I don't think the pact would include long-term care or other substantial needs) but it worked out well. Even something as basic as that - neighbors helping neighbors - would be a big boon to anyone's social needs.

  3. #13
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Beaverton (and many other cities) has a cooperative elder care organization called Viva Village, part of the Village family. It's made up of volunteers who help each other with transportation, yard work, social contact, and more. There's a modest yearly fee to join.

  4. #14
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JaneV2.0 View Post
    He was no spring chicken and he had medical issues, so it was inevitable, but I still shake my fist at the sky and give him grief for leaving--on a daily basis. I didn't mean to hijack the thread.

    The important thing is that we determine what our personal sweet spot is re human contact and aim for it.
    Jane, I'm sorry for prying (and continuing the hijack), but when did this happen? You used to reference him often.

    Speaking of social contact and maintaining friendships, I consider you all friends, even though I would pass you on the street and have no clue who you are. When I talk to my family about stuff, I'll sometimes say "I have a friend who said..." And that friend is one of y'all.

    So when something sad like this happens to a friend, I feel it no less than I would any other flesh-and-blood friend. Shoot, we've been together a long time.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  5. #15
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    CL, rather than searching for a norm among us, perhaps more define what it is that you are missing. Then fill that hole in your brand new community. It sounds like you're on track doing that in Vermont.

    My hubby and I are inundated daily at work. When we leave, we're so ready to be together quietly and enjoy our evening. Weekends we may or may not do things together....we both have hobbies...he woodwork, me quilting. We may revert to our "studios".

  6. #16
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    March 21, the first day of Spring this year. As I told his son, he was a good man, and my best friend. He was an example of having lots of social contacts and support.

    Yes--this forum and others are a part of the "community" leg of the social contact chair.

  7. #17
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    I am so sorry for your loss, Jane. Inevitability still doesn't make it easy.
    I agree that we have varying needs concerning social contact. I'm finding that I can be more social since retiring since I can still have time to myself. It isn't quite the either/or proposition it used to be.
    I too share a strong sense of community with the people here.

  8. #18
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JaneV2.0 View Post
    I think the need for social contact varies widely. I require a minimum, apparently. Since my partner died, I feel a bit adrift, but I still have friends and family who are in contact by email and phone. I may expand my circle somewhat in the future, but if not, I'm OK with it.
    Jane:

    I am so sorry to hear of your partner's passing. Please take care.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  9. #19
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    I'd like to offer my condolences as well. There's a lot to lose in one go...
    If Americans expended even a fraction of the energy on civic engagement that we spend on consumer ideology, our democracy would be much healthier. Can you imagine people camping out to vote? -- Charles Roberts, Amherst, Mass., Nov. 25, 2006

  10. #20
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    My condolences, Jane :-(

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