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Thread: What kind of depression needs attention?

  1. #1
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    What kind of depression needs attention?

    I saw a friend of mine at the grocery store. She's been telling me that she's not happy with her marriage. She caught her husband cheating. Every time we talk, she feels like crying. I think she's really in distressed. I don't think, it is normal. Do you think her depression needs attention? Please share thoughts. I need to help my friend.

  2. #2
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    This does not sound like depression, but rather a normal grief reaction due to the circumstances. Here's an article about the differences:
    https://www.verywellmind.com/grief-a...ession-1067237

    But yeah, she would probably benefit from talking to a therapist for support at such an awful time.

  3. #3
    Senior Member KayLR's Avatar
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    Poor thing...she's heartbroken and that isn't something you snap out of quickly. Soon she'll be angry enough to move forward. I agree, though, that she could probably benefit from seeing a counselor.
    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already!

  4. #4
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Depression is serious business.

    I think your friend needs to talk to someone. "Normal" sadness/grief can become "real" depression if a person is prone to such things, it is helpful to avoid going down that path in the first place.

    Related - my wife has suffered from major depression for 40 years now. As a result of the stresses and grief from her parents both passing away within a year, menopause, empty-nest-syndrome from our child being in college and just graduating a few weeks ago, she suffered a huge relapse and checked herself into a supervised situation just this morning, I expect her to be gone for several weeks....

    So really, best to avoid early on :-)

  5. #5
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    I'm sorry to hear that, Bae. I hope your wife feels better and is back with you soon.

  6. #6
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Wise words, Bae, based on experience. We all go through challenges in life, all of us, and some seem overwhelming at the time. The danger is in thinking that one can help when the helper doesn't know or understand what is really needed.

    As one who wishes to help someone facing a serious emotional challenge, may I ask how one goes about supporting another? Does one find the alternative counselling providers and offer a list? Does one suggest a checklist of questions to determine the severity or acuteness of the need? Is there such a list? What else can the OP suggest or provide her friend?
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  7. #7
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    I try to just listen and offer support. I may make suggestions if I feel they will be well-received. Sometimes I have to bite my tongue.

  8. #8
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    Well if the plan is to keep the marriage then it seems couples counseling would be the best thing.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  9. #9
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    All kinds/levels of depression should be addressed. Temporary/situational may best be served by counseling as it may not be a true chemical/physiologic depression but could progress if unattended. Chemical/physiologic depression should be attended by a provider and may well be served best by medication either short or long term.

    To the OP: I don't perceive this as depression. To me, this is a normal reaction to her life partner breaking his commitment to her in their marriage. What to do? Encourage her to talk......to a counselor but if she won't, at least to you since she has confided in you. She needs to talk through her feelings, her options, how to have conversation with her husband.....next steps. It will take time for her to decide if she can forgive and work on the marriage if he will recommit, or if she needs to leave.

    A book that has helped many people is: Dance of Anger. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00F2I2H56...ng=UTF8&btkr=1
    I have a friend who shared that this book saved her marriage (I had recommended it to her).

  10. #10
    Senior Member Simplemind's Avatar
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    Never underestimate the power of being there for somebody and taking the time to talk and listen without advising.

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