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Thread: Weekend getaways

  1. #71
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    Yes. And I enjoyed reading Big Russ and Me by Tim Russert, set there. Both generations worked as garbagemen, which by the way is a great way to build character through adversity.
    Curious. What have you done to build character?
    的 came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  2. #72
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    Some of the adverse circumstances that have helped me develop resilience and character:

    Work in a factory where I stood for 12 hour shifts 4 consecutive days per week and my hands got all cut up by the work.

    Every month be vomiting and in severe pain missing school while doctors told me it was all in my head. Then I came across an article in Ms magazine and found relief.

    Survive domestic assault and battery and learn to advocate for myself and my child since I could not afford an attorney. Go to court approximately 50 times pro se. Sometimes I was in there on a weekly or biweekly basis.

    Deal with the behavioral health issues of loved ones, including involvement with Nar Anon.

    Volunteer in community organizations butting up against powerful special interests.

    Search for my toddler son when he was the victim of a custodial kidnapping and law enforcement was not particularly concerned.

    Survive a toxic job where I was publicly sworn and screamed at and had things thrown at me by the boss's love interest, and when she had me pushed out as an older displaced worker wotk tirelessly to find a better job.

  3. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    She has her non-negotiable issues too:
    -She expects me to be monogamous
    -I have to work steady
    -I have to be quite financially responsible

    Etc.
    1. You have complained about atheist women being polyamorous, so a monogamous relationship is to your taste/benefit also, so this shouldn't be viewed as a concession to her unless you hold a double standard
    2. You have to work anyways to get your student loans forgiven

  4. #74
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    Okay, I appreciate you sharing. I will respond one issue at a time.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    Some of the adverse circumstances that have helped me develop resilience and character:
    My first question: Is there a difference between a resilient person and a person who can simply withstand being perpetually roughed up by life?

    I remember when I was a kid, my mom said: "Carla (a neighbor lady) sure is resilient. She has 7 kids by 5 men. 4 of those men abused her -- beat her. Then as soon as her daughters were teenagers they started having kids with guys who abused them. Carla never finished high school. But she keeps going to work every day and paying her bills when she can, no matter what life, or her kids, or the men she dates, or the law, or whatever throws at her. She is one resilient woman."

    I remember thinking: Carla is not resilient. She is a figurative and literal punching bag and routine bad decision maker.

    But hey, just my opinion.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    Work in a factory where I stood for 12 hour shifts 4 consecutive days per week and my hands got all cut up by the work.
    Looks like we have something else in common. I used to work in a factory too. During that time I also took community college classes. And in the summer I did some residential construction on the weekends. That was my first real year of college (when I went back the second time and took it seriously).

    I also worked in a warehouse unloading trucks during my sophomore year in college. Tough-ass work.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    Every month be vomiting and in severe pain missing school while doctors told me it was all in my head. Then I came across an article in Ms magazine and found relief.
    I am not sure what you are referring to, but I am glad you found that relief. I have a chronic illness and it is a nightmare. So I get it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    Survive domestic assault and battery and learn to advocate for myself and my child since I could not afford an attorney. Go to court approximately 50 times pro se. Sometimes I was in there on a weekly or biweekly basis.
    I am sorry to hear this happened to you. Hopefully you won the court cases and you and your kid ended up okay.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    Deal with the behavioral health issues of loved ones, including involvement with Nar Anon.
    I am fortunate because I don't have to deal with the mental and behavioral health of anyone else. My mother and father who have Compulsive Hoarding refuse my help. And I generally avoid crazy people who will bring drama to my life.

    Though when I was a little kid, my grandma was mentally ill. She once stuck me in the back with a fork for taking a french fry off the counter before they were served. She stuck me as I was running away. That is just one example of her craziness. When she was nice though, she was very nice.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    Volunteer in community organizations butting up against powerful special interests.
    Another thing we have in common! I have volunteered with workers' rights group, environmental orgs, community gardens, and such. I have lobbied congress, taken part in voter registration drives, committed civil disobedience (and was twice arrested and thrown in jail too), and so forth.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    Search for my toddler son when he was the victim of a custodial kidnapping and law enforcement was not particularly concerned.
    I am very sorry this happened to you and your son. Hopefully some resolution of this was reached.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    Survive a toxic job where I was publicly sworn and screamed at and had things thrown at me by the boss's love interest, and when she had me pushed out as an older displaced worker wotk tirelessly to find a better job.
    If this really happened, I am sorry to hear this. I try to avoid truly toxic jobs.


    I am started to see why you say and think what appear to be such bitter things and why you appear to be rather resentful. Your life's circumstances and your choices have be rather unfortunate in many cases.

    Perhaps letting some of this bitterness and resentment would be worthwhile. Give it some thought.
    的 came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  5. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    1. You have complained about atheist women being polyamorous, so a monogamous relationship is to your taste/benefit also, so this shouldn't be viewed as a concession to her unless you hold a double standard
    2. You have to work anyways to get your student loans forgiven
    Well, I don't want to be monogamous. In a sense I do hold a double standard. Ideally I would like a primary life partner who let me have a few girlfriends on the side. I would also like for there to not be any STDs and for any woman I am dating to happily and steadily take her birth control. But this is an unrealistic ideal -- one I'd certainly prefer -- but given the way our paradigm is I usually just do the monogamous thing, monogamous on my part and hers.

    Let me tell you what my ladyfriend says she likes about me, in her words or very close paraphrasing for brevity.
    1. She says I treat her with respect and kindness
    2. She likes that I have a job and my own apartment
    3. She admires me for having a rescue dog
    4.She also says I am reliable
    5. I take care of her if she is sick
    6. I treat other people and animals with compassion
    7. I am 100% against violence
    8. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs
    9. She likes my low-key funny jokes and my outrageous silly diatribes; they make her laugh
    10. She admires me for being a lifelong learner
    11. She says I have raised a very good dog

    Yppej: Is your mind at ease now?
    的 came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  6. #76
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    I do think you are good to Harlan. We'll see how long the bloom stays on the rose with the woman. She is girlfriend number what?

  7. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    I do think you are good to Harlan. We'll see how long the bloom stays on the rose with the woman. She is girlfriend number what?
    I dunno, maybe my 20th girlfriend or so. Why?

    Let me ask you this: Do you have a life partner?

    Do you have any friends who are straight men?
    的 came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  8. #78
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    I was married. I outlived him. And I'm not bitter because I'm above ground and he's not. That kind of puts things in perspective.

    Yes, I have friends who are straight men. They know how many girlfriends they have had.

    Men who don't know and won't wear condoms are bad news.

  9. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkytoe View Post
    We are heading west into the mountains for a few days without much of a plan. Normally, I plan every detail of a trip but not this one.
    How would you like to dip in a hot (not too hot) spring under a starry sky?

  10. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    I was married. I outlived him. And I'm not bitter because I'm above ground and he's not. That kind of puts things in perspective.
    Sorry about this. But I don't know what you're saying here, not sure what you mean.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    Yes, I have friends who are straight men. They know how many girlfriends they have had.
    I could go back and count. But I am 38 year old man. I had my first girlfriend when I was a teenager. What I can do is tell you about the great ones.

    Jeanna was my first serious girlfriend. Very passionate woman! Drove a truck, stick shift!
    Then Lori was my first great love. I wanted to marry her. But she turned out to be a cheater.
    Then Kerri, who I eventually married. I loved and was so incredibly dedicated to her. What a woman!
    Then Bonnie -- such a smart, sensitive woman. She is married now, she and her wife have a kid. She also got a PHD and appears to be very happy in life.
    Then Sarah M. Talk about an intense woman! Jeeeez!
    Then Cheryl. She was quirky and hot headed. We split up but remain on good terms.
    Then there was Mbabazi. God damn...I loved that woman. So intelligent, so stunning.
    After that there was Misha. A good woman, quite rough around the edges, unrefined. But heart of gold and lots of fun.
    Then there was Whitney. She is one of the most perceptive people I ever knew. Also passionate, very passionate.

    I would say those are the great ones.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    Men who don't know and won't wear condoms are bad news.
    Really. Isn't the point of getting a v-sec so you can go bareback?

    Also: Only one of the women I listed above wanted to use condoms. The rest strongly preferred bareback, so we did the responsible thing. We got check-up from ol' sawbones. When we got the all-clear we proceeded au naturel.

    I think women who don't use birth control are bad news (for me).

    Also, so what if I don't know how many girlfriends I have had. Are you slut-shaming me?
    的 came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

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