what if they don't want me back

[sweetana3]

It can be helpful both from "getting it out of the mind" and not forgetting details to write down extensive notes in time order if possible on what they actually did to you. When you were notified of job, how much info and support given in the time period until camp, what was not provided yet needed, stress situations such as inadequate numbers of helpers, etc. Just how many problems erupted and when.

Put in some kind of bulleted list so you can easily find them (rather than a long narrative). Dates and some times helpful. A couple of references to requirements of your old supervisor such as mandated emails is also good. Make sure any surprises along the way are listed. Any lack of cooperation from others where it was requested helpful also.

Then make a nice list of the actions you would have taken as an experienced person from the beginning on organization and duties needed prior to start of any camp. Star any that appear to not have been done by the other group.

The whole process is to clarify what you might need to refer to in any communications.

[iris lilies]

Wait. Why? Aren't you out on a medical leave? Dr. decides when you go back, and all should be arranged through HR, not on a phone conversation with- your (crazy) boss.

PLEASE. Take care of yourself here. Do NOT call them!!

Yes, I wondered about that too, but assume ZG is following the orders of her Dr. She already said her return is part time beginning this week, so we can assume that was ok’d by her physician. Her workplace’s HR people will want confirmation from ZG’s physician for back to work issues.

[Zoe Girl]

Yes I am following all the steps, it is part time this week after they get the paperwork and then full time next week unless I need to change it (my DR is super responsive). Then I go on a week long retreat. The DR is sending over the letter today, I may call the HR person first and ask about next steps.

I don't want to put this off forever, it is easier on me to go back part time, have a low stress weekend and then work more hours. I do most of my school year planning now so there is a lot I can be working on besides supporting camps. I do not want to go back to that one however, we have multiple camps so I can imagine they could use me another way. But who knows?

edited to add: It is also significant that my hormone changes with my age caused hot flashes that combined with stress became all over body anxiety attacks several times a day. The medication I have been added (6 more days) should help a lot with that.

[Geila]

ZG - I'm so sorry you are going through this. For me, it's hard mentally to let go of stressful stuff even when I know, logically, that I should or that it's waaaayyy past time to do so. So I really get that part of it. I think for those of us with mental illness it's much, much harder to detach than the average person. Sometimes it feels impossible to interrupt that loop. But it can be done, so there's a glimmer of hope I can give you. It can definitely be done. But it is a lot of work.

I haven't been on here for a while but I know that you've been struggling at this job for many years. Sometimes we are just not suited for a particular job. Have you considered looking for jobs in a different setting to see if you have more success in a different environment? Sometimes we must sacrifice something in order to gain what we need. I know that sounds unfair, it is. And it sucks. But your health is the most important thing.

You're going to hate my suggestion, but here goes. What if you got a boring office job where you do simple, basic stuff all day long and have clear expectations and low stress? I bet the pay would be comparable to what you have now. Helping professions are terribly underpaid. With a boring simple job, you get to have lots of energy left over for fun stuff on evenings and weekends! The tricky part is getting the ego on board because it might feel like you are too educated and experienced for that sort of job. But what if you could sacrifice the ego's desire for recognition in exchange for a happy life?

p.s. I say "boring, simple, basic" etc., because I think that's how you will view it. However, I've worked many office jobs and most of them were actually quite fun and satisfying.

[Zoe Girl]

Geila, yes boring office would be boring and i agree there is a place for it. Some companies really support volunteer work so doing one thing after school may be an option. I did start looking at legal jobs, in case i am done with education totally.

[Geila]

Some companies really support volunteer work so doing one thing after school may be an option. I did start looking at legal jobs, in case i am done with education totally.

Zoe - not sure what the bolded part meant. Can you clarify? I don't want to respond thinking it means one thing and it actually means something else.

A friend of mine went back to school in her late 30's/early 40's to become a paralegal. She loves detail work and helping people. She used to work at NASA doing administrative work (ie, boring office job ). Legal work is very detail-intensive and there is very little room for error. I think being a bit OCD is actually a good thing in that job. Is that something that works well with your personality and skill set?

Another friend of mine was a public elementary school secretary and recently retired at 55 with a $1400/month pension and really enjoyed her job. Got to work with kids everyday but didn't have the stress and responsibility of being responsible for them. And she got summers off and all the holidays that the teachers and kids did.

My sister is an elementary school special ed teacher and although she makes more money than my friend did, her job is really stressful. Lots of tears, lots of pressure, lots of responsibility. I would take the secretary job over this one any day! But that's just me.

I started in office work after high school and it worked out pretty well for me. I was able to buy a house in my 20's and retire from full-time work in late 30's. Then I went back to school for fun and got a couple of degrees and now work part time from home as the mood strikes. I make $35/hr doing admin stuff. I might go back to part-time office in a couple of years just for the social aspect of it.

This is just to give you an idea that there are lots of options out there. When I'm stressed about something it's really difficult for me to see options and to gain perspective on the situation. The job you've had is just one in a world of many jobs!