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Thread: People putting too much importance on being FB friends

  1. #1
    Senior Member Tradd's Avatar
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    People putting too much importance on being FB friends

    This situation just has me shaking my head and chuckling.

    My diving instructors for all classes up to now have been a couple (guy/gal). They are a package deal. Been FB friends with them from the beginning.

    Anyway, a few weeks back I noticed that comments guy instructor had made on a few posts of mine were gone. His profile was gone when I searched. Mutual friend confirmed heís still on FB. I checked the galís FB page and she had me restricted from only seeing older posts Iíd been tagged in (diving pics and the like).

    Iíd didnít care guy had blocked me, just a little weird. Heís still very friendly as usual when I see him at the dive shop and quarry. Mostly people just unfriend you when they donít want the connection unless other stuff is going on.

    Anyway, a friend of mine was taking a night diving class from them and asked me what time to show up at quarry. I told him the time I had to show up last year (to check in before office closes) and added ďunless you are advised otherwise.Ē Well, he asked gal instructor and it set her off. She sent me a rather nasty text telling me to not tell her students wrong info and that she will advise them about class specifics. Telling her that student had asked me did no good. Apparently quarry office is open later now than last year. How was I supposed to know that?

    Sheís a control freak. Goes with her full time job. That text left a really bad taste in my mouth as she was nasty when she didnít need to be. So I blocked her on FB and blocked her mobile number as well (she mostly communicated via text). Didnít think about blocking her email. She sent me an article on diving where Iím going on vacation in a few weeks saying she had originally intended to post it on my FB wall (I have my settings so no one but me can post stuff on my FB wall). I just said thanks and thatís it.

    Last weekend I got a text from her (thought her number was blocked but maybe not). Anyway, she asked me how I could unfriend her on FB after all the time she spent on me (mentoring, one on one diving help, she got me swimming). She thought the text shouldnít have been the last straw. I didnít mention the text, but told her I was sorry she felt that way. Mentioned I noticed her boyfriend had blocked me and she had restricted me on her profile. Said I had really appreciated the time she had spent helping me. No response from her.

    Frankly, I think she is mad that I keep refusing to do dive master course. Itís the level below instructor. You assist with classes, crew the dive boat, etc. I had repeatedly told her I wanted to dive wrecks not help with classes at the quarry. I also told her that I doing DM would be too much for me physically. Youíre expected to do a lot of schlepping of tanks and other heavy dive gear. I have my hands full hauling my own gear let alone someone elseís. The liability issue is also a big thing for me. I donít want any part of it.

    Anyway, this was just me venting. I hadnít mentioned this to anyone local as I didnít want to affect anyone elseís relationship with her and guy instructor or it get back to her. Divers are a small community and people gossip.

    I have no more classes I would take with them which is good.

  2. #2
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    I understand sharing here so that you don't gossip in a small community. I have used this site for a lot.

    The whole thing is weird and suggests they have some issues. I know that it seems that we should have better communication because we have it written now however we still get our signals crossed just as much as before written communication.

    Makes sense that they wanted you to do the next course and you turned it down. But do what is right for you!

  3. #3
    Senior Member jp1's Avatar
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    I think you (Tradd) are doing the right thing by venting here and just letting it go. Venting to others who may know these people will just drag you into a whole time-consuming, emotion-consuming drama that no one is going to win or feel better about once it's over. (if the drama ever even ends...) Your decisions seem reasonable and it's undoubtedly better to just let it all go.

    Just like the idea that one should only keep physical objects in one's life if they bring joy or serve a useful purpose, the same goes for people. I'm willing to cut slack to people who may be going through a difficult patch or who have long been good friends, but if all someone brings is drama and need, better to cut bait and move on to people with whom the relationship is more mutually beneficial and enjoyable.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Tradd's Avatar
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    I went into my phone’s settings and made sure the gal’s number is well and truly blocked this time. I don’t have the time right now to figure out how to block on email. But I’ll leave it open for now in case she wants to get in touch. She really is an excellent instructor. Just really don’t know what made her go off the rails.

  5. #5
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    I really don't get why it is such a big deal for other people to be friends with, block, unfriend or whatever in social media. Online relationships are nothing compared to real personal relationships. Maybe the couple is just insecure with you or something. But that doesn't make you a less better person. In my opinion, I would just focus on real friends and just continue on nurturing my relationships with them. Remember, there are friends for a season, friends for a reason and friends for life.

  6. #6
    Senior Member dmc's Avatar
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    I’m not friends with anyone on Facebook. Never signed up.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by dmc View Post
    I’m not friends with anyone on Facebook. Never signed up.
    Same here. I'm probably missing a little regarding some local groups or activities that might be interesting, but sure not missing any of the drama...

  8. #8
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    As I've mentioned before, I've chosen not to have FB friends. I'm sure that makes my account likely to be terminated by FB at some future date.
    I enjoy my newsfeed and groups.. but I don't need or want drama, exposure, etc.

  9. #9
    Moderator Float On's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JaneV2.0 View Post
    As I've mentioned before, I've chosen not to have FB friends. I'm sure that makes my account likely to be terminated by FB at some future date.
    I enjoy my newsfeed and groups.. but I don't need or want drama, exposure, etc.
    I think you are smart to go that way. I've spent the last year deleting all the memories that they bring back up. I quit making daily posts. I've hidden (unfollowed but still friends) pretty much everyone. No one has noticed or asked if I'm ok since they haven't seen any posts from me. I mainly like photos on a few gardening groups and thats about it. I'd like to start work on moving all my photos to something else and then I'll delete most of those as well.
    Float On: My "Happy Place" is on my little kayak in the coves of Table Rock Lake.

  10. #10
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    I wonder if the trend cited here is going to continue. FB's disastrous day on the Dow may portend of Facebook-fatigue, and Facebook-fear.

    My son has never had a FB account--but he's my Luddite child anyway. My other kids have gravitated to Instagram, which is also owned by FB, but it's less commercial and simpler. My DIL will kill me if I ever post a picture of my grandsons, and I really applaud her for that. In a few years, adults who were babies during the FB rise will be wondering why their entire life history is out there in cyberspace, thanks to their parents.

    I am not dogmatic about FB. I enjoy keeping up with my friends, and I'm thrilled FB allowed me to reconnect with many old ones. I post rarely, I NEVER EVER tag any of my friends, but I will "like" some posts. I'm pretty middle-of-the-road with it, and I really don't encounter much, if any, drama on it, especially since I blocked the posts of one of my good friends whose rabid liberal, mean, sarcastic posts drove me crazy. No need to block any other friends.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

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