Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 31

Thread: People afraid to do things themselves

  1. #21
    Senior Member Tradd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    The Suburban Midwest
    Posts
    3,041
    There’s a big difference between someone who doesn’t want to hike alone and someone incapable of going to pick up their carryout order by themselves.

  2. #22
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    9,451
    Quote Originally Posted by Tradd View Post
    There’s a big difference between someone who doesn’t want to hike alone and someone incapable of going to pick up their carryout order by themselves.
    That goes without saying.

    I go everywhere alone, and have for years.

  3. #23
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    161
    I guess this has something to do with the common misconception that being alone is similar to being lonely. Definitely, most young people wouldn't want to give an impression that they're actually lonely, which is why they try their best not to remain alone. I believe, though, that people tend to outgrow this eventually as they learn that there's happiness in solitude. You can go all by yourself, but still remain happy.

  4. #24
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    2,178
    And you can be with someone and feel very lonely. This happened to me in my dysfunctional marriage.

  5. #25
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    6,926
    I would peg it as some form of shyness/social phobia. Certainly if someone avoided doing something they wanted to and didn't have a ton of friends to drag along and so just didn't do it, it would be pegged as such. If they got a party invite and were afraid to go to it would be diagnosed as such. If they didn't want to do something because they thought it would be seen as stupid ... yea. Of course shyness just is mostly (I'm not sure it's really entirely curable), but people can force themselves to do stuff sometimes if they think it's worth it and maybe get slightly more used to that particular thing (provided they don't completely hate it ... hard to ever get entirely used to something if you completely hate it).

    I think the Millennials are much more "tribal" than previous gens.
    that might be.

    This drives me nuts at work. People who spend endless hours chatting instead of working will ask their friends if they will go to the bathroom with them, or to get water with them, etc. So it's not a chance to get away from the boss's eye and talk because they already do that anyways. It's a fear of being alone for even a second. There are a pair like this at my current job and my previous job had a pair also. Let's go hang out in the bathroom together - very junior highish.
    I vote them most likely to succeed in life because they'll be the one's with the network - but really if that's what they are doing they should broaden it some, a network of one person you know is only so useful ... But yes I've seen people leave a company and drag everyone they know along to the new company. I've seen groups do it several times at several different companies (they travel in packs from job to job). And I've seen at least two different groups of such - in my own work experience. I do think that is succeeding in life. Going it alone is a hard road and working hard at one's desk only gets one so far. I've certainly learned it's sometimes more important to be liked than to do good work.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  6. #26
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    2,272
    I would tend to agree, APN, about both the social phobia and the fact that people who travel in packs do better in life. Unfortunately for me, who is an introvert. But it does seem true in my experience.

  7. #27
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    520
    I highly value my alone time. I tend to experience some sort of sensory overload when surrounded by too many people for too long a Time. I sometimes need a little retreat in order to gather myself back together. So much so that on a trip that we are planning soon on a cruise, I needed to upgrade and spend more money to have a cabin with a balcony so that I might go out on the balcony and regroup, alone...this even happens on occasion with just hubby and me. He's highly social, and I tolerate it, and even participate, but would not seek social interaction if not for him.

  8. #28
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Nevada
    Posts
    5,417
    I don’t hike alone in the mountains because it is dangerous. Every spring they find some morons body up there after the snow melts. My DH does though. If my husband died I would probably just cruise for vacation because you can do it alone but still have people to talk to at dinner, tours, etc.

  9. #29
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    9,451
    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    I don’t hike alone in the mountains because it is dangerous. Every spring they find some morons body up there after the snow melts. My DH does though. If my husband died I would probably just cruise for vacation because you can do it alone but still have people to talk to at dinner, tours, etc.
    Or--as Paulides points out in his books--they don't find the body.

  10. #30
    Senior Member pony mom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    NW NJ
    Posts
    1,161
    I usually do things on my own because I don't have many friends that I do things with. Movies, concerts, Broadway shows, museums, doesn't matter to me. When I was twenty I stayed in London for five weeks with four strangers (we stayed in dorms). And went again with a tour group, but on my own. I was alone, but not lonely. Plus I can easily make conversation with anyone.

    As for parties, I have found that if I have a guest with me, I spend too much time talking to that person and looking after them rather than meeting and talking to other people.

    If I'll miss doing or seeing something because no one else wants to do it, I'll do it on my own. Life's too short.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •