Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 39

Thread: Introverts, how much social contact can you tolerate?

  1. #1
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    VT/NJ
    Posts
    8,348

    Introverts, how much social contact can you tolerate?

    I feel like I must be getting less able to spend large chunks of time with other people! Not sure why.

    As I've mentioned, we are starting to build a fun social life with our neighbors--really nice people. This is the fulfillment of my DH's dreams, as he is very much a people person, and thrives on social contact. In NJ, over time, our social life had withered away, and he was literally withering away, too. So he is in heaven.

    This weekend, one set of neighbors arrived from their home in the NY area, and our other neighbors are here as well. So Friday night, we all gathered together and talked for maybe 3 hours. Last night DH and I went to our neighbor's house and talked for another 3 hours (I actually left before DH, at 11:30, because I just couldn't stay any longer--he didn't come home until 1). They invited us on their boat with the other neighbors today. We had plans with my son, but DH is willing to break those plans so he can go on the boat with the two other couples. I'm fine with it, I guess, but I would much rather hang out at home today. I think I'm just tapped out socially.

    So, if you are an introvert, at what point do you physically feel that you have to escape social situations, even if you like the people you are with?
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  2. #2
    Senior Member IshbelRobertson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    The other side of the pond
    Posts
    1,644
    I am getting more and more introverted as I age. I was a shy child, then as an adult had to interact with Uni students and all that entails. Before I took voluntary early retirement, I found excuses not to join in faculty jollies.

    It’s truly too much for me nowadays to be in groups of four or more people.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    2,269
    Oh gosh, Catherine, I could not bear two of those in a row. I am definitely less able to cope with so much socialization as I age. I can take one thing a weekend with non-family, but two in a row would wear me out. I would not be able to break the date with son to couple socialize again--the family time is refreshing to me. We have very friendly neighbors and I know they are offended that we have not gone out on their boat with them, will not drive great distances with them in their car, do not want to socialize every day--but honestly, this is why we moved to the country, and are happy socializing mostly with family. My husband is much more extroverted than I and this has been a problem in our marriage. He wants to have a giant garage sale and I have realized it would be two days of social anxiety hell, to have to interact with all these strangers.

    So for the kind of social activity you are describing with neighbors/couples, once a week is about right for me. Unfortunately, you're in a summer house/vacation neighborhood and it's not a great idea to turn down going out on a boat!

  4. #4
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    VT/NJ
    Posts
    8,348
    Quote Originally Posted by Tybee View Post

    So for the kind of social activity you are describing with neighbors/couples, once a week is about right for me. Unfortunately, you're in a summer house/vacation neighborhood and it's not a great idea to turn down going out on a boat!
    I know, but we just turned them down. I had no influence on that decision--I was willing to go along, although, as you said, it would have bummed me out to tell my son that we are too busy to have him up this weekend. But that's moot now--I think even DH is worn out!
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  5. #5
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Eastern Massachusetts
    Posts
    3,668
    That would definitely exceed my tolerance! When I was working, I could comfortably handle 1 social thing every other weekend. I would probably be OK with 2 -3 things in a two-week period now, since I do get more quiet alone time.

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Nevada
    Posts
    5,381
    I am a extrovert but find as I am aging I need more downtime. I enjoy family but we have a active social life with other couples. Every Saturday we go to whatever festival or local event is happening and everyone knows that day is sacred.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    1,777
    I am more introverted than I used to be. Social events even with people I enjoy being with are exhausting. I find I need two days to recover from lunch out. My calendar has several days empty and I love looking at the week with little outside activity. Then some weeks there is something nearly every day. I get very tired during those weeks. I cannot believe I used to work all week teaching 4th graders, do all the after school meetings, planning, paperwork and still out for dinner a couple times a month and weekends with at least one day used up. I dont miss that.

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    2,174
    I am an introvert who recharges alone, but am more open to social interaction than I used to be. When I was a single parent of a young child working full-time and going to school nights I had no time or interest.

  9. #9
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    4,919
    I am borderline introvert most of the time. I can socialize with anyone any time but much prefer one-on-one contacts. After two hours, I need a break from everything social. I don't like any activities that go on longer than 2 hours, it seems.
    Your activity with the new neighbours would be way too much.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  10. #10
    Senior Member gimmethesimplelife's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    4,397
    Quite a bit, actually, even though it does go against my grain as an introvert - a textbook example of an introvert, which is what I am. In what I do for money, there is a great deal of social contact involved and it's part of the job and that is that is that is that by any other name is still that.

    I am able to deal with people on my job BUT when I come home I am grateful that those in my life beyond work that are close to me know that I am an introvert and that I need my downtime and that I am not blowing anyone off but am merely recharging the way that works for me and that I will get back to people once I have recharged. I am able to drop everything once in awhile and be social after work at the drop of a hat - provided it's not often and provided there is some kind of social cause behind it that matters to me. To just socialize after work though - getting harder and harder as I get older.

    Definitely I was meant to live in a library that is quiet with a large collection of books.......cats roaming around would be great along with stories of social justice for children - but not extremely young children, I'm talking 10 and above. As far a communicating with me goes outside of the workplace........I do have a FB page and I do have a smartphone with voice mail - what I tell people is PM me or VM me......I'll get back to you once my batteries are recharged - are you not worth my whole presence? Some understand this and some don't - some of the looks I have gotten from using this line LOL - I should start a website for introverts based on the looks I've gotten from using this line alone. I believe introverts will understand at what I am getting at here. Rob

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •