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Thread: Stepping Back: What are the Consequences?

  1. #31
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    I raised 3 kids in a 1 bathroom house. We enjoy guests and we have a guest room and a RV. If we have more people than 4 they have to get a room. On this last trip friends offered to put us up but we had 3 dogs and 1 was 80lb shedding machine so we declined.

  2. #32
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    So, thinking about what you guys have been saying, it seems some people are affronted if they are asked to get a room (even if paid for by the host), but some circumstances may warrant it.. like the shedding machine of a dog, in which case the guest may respectfully offer to stay elsewhere.

    We have two bedrooms, so I can easily accommodate another couple, and we actually can sleep 6 total. The one bathroom thing could be problematic, but in our bigger house in NJ, we only have 1.5 baths. The bathroom upstairs has dual entry into the hall and our bedroom, which I think is awkward. If you are the guest and you have to flush the toilet in the middle of the night, you might be afraid of waking up the hosts. I really don't like that set-up, and in fact, I've seriously considered turning the smallest bedroom upstairs into a bathroom, so that there would be two bedrooms upstairs, each with its own bathroom. My realtor advised me not to lose a 3rd bedroom, but we have a big bonus room downstairs (with an attached half-bath), so we wouldn't really be losing a third bedroom, we'd be losing a fourth.

    But there are the guests (and I happen to be one) who prefer NOT to stay at other people's houses, and my DH is DEFINITELY with me on that. When we have our mini-college reunion with 8 couples, usually some people stay with the hosting couple and others volunteer to get a hotel, and I always volunteer--unless our multimillionaire friend is hosting, because she has 3 homes and each home has 5 bedrooms, and each bedroom has its own en-suite. But I just don't like imposing on people, and I think even the nicest hosts need a little alone time when people visit.

    To each his own.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  3. #33
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    Our house was about 750 feet when we bought it and we added a 170 ft room, so still under 1000 SF. There are only 2 of us, so it works, although it has been challenging to figure out how to best use the space (old house with awkward floor plan). Challenges can be fun though!

  4. #34
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Had a wonderful thing happen today--a friend/client of mine texted saying she was very close by on her way to Montreal and would she and her husband be able stop by? I was thrilled! First of all, my kids were here yesterday and I had a lot of stuff I could offer in terms of snacks, including fresh vegetables from my garden and maple yogurt. Second, it's so rare for friends from NYC area to "stop by" 26 miles from Canada!!

    We had a great time. I provided Vermont cheese, and my own veggies and crackers and fresh iced tea. But as usual, I felt a little "insecure" about how I measured up by today's standards. I apologized right away about the fact that I haven't started renovating. I apologized for no air conditioning on a hot day. I noticed that my friend's husband would often "rescue" my friend from an insect invader--insects don't bother me much.

    So the visit reinforced that:

    1) people really need "creature comforts" which sometimes mean "I like nature as long as it doesn't bug me" and
    2) I have lower standards than most people. They came from NYC and I'm from NJ, so I imagine that they expected a different picture, but, sorry, that's not me.

    I think they really enjoyed fresh iced tea with the lake view, but they're probably thrilled they're in their air-conditioned apartment in Montreal.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  5. #35
    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
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    So the visit reinforced that:

    1) people really need "creature comforts" which sometimes mean "I like nature as long as it doesn't bug me" and
    2) I have lower standards than most people. They came from NYC and I'm from NJ, so I imagine that they expected a different picture, but, sorry, that's not me.
    Did it? Or are you projecting?

    Did they really say awful things about your place or is that all in your head?

  6. #36
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by herbgeek View Post
    Did it? Or are you projecting?

    Did they really say awful things about your place or is that all in your head?
    It's all in my head, I'm sure. Thanks for pointing that out. But it's still hard to think that there isn't some truth to it. The point is, should I care?
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  7. #37
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    I know I would be impressed with quiet surroundings, good food, and a lake view. When you don't have AC, you mostly just shrug off the heat--it just makes the return of cool Autumn that much sweeter.

    Your place sounds perfectly fine to me. A friend of mine had an 800 sq. ft. cottage--painted purple. It was set back from the street on a large fenced lot. It was really a special place.

  8. #38
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Cath, IMO anyway, it is not about what others think. What do you think about your place? Does it measure up to what you want in your place? It seems that you are trying to judge yourself through others' eyes. You need to see 'the you that you want to be', in the home that you want, set up the way that you want. I don't think that you are there yet. Relax, you will get there.

    One day you will know in your heart, I am as I am and I like it.
    I feel that way finally and it is wonderfully freeing. I am living my life for me. I give to others in my way, drop everything when I feel that I need to do so.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  9. #39
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    When I go to someone’s home I go to visit them and not judge them. I really don’t care unless the house is so dirty or messy that it leaves me uncomfortable. You just bought your cottage and it will take time to get it how you want. I love being able to have a lake view.

  10. #40
    Senior Member Tradd's Avatar
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    I'd have to have a/c - due to both allergies and dislike of being hot.

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