Stepping Back: What are the Consequences?

[Teacher Terry]

Catherine, I love to purge. It is fun. You can private message me and I would be willing to help. However, be prepared I come with a 5lb killer Maltese!

[Yppej]

When we were first married my XDH and I lived in a guesthouse. There were a shower, toilet and sink in the bathroom and a small alcove with a minifridge and microwave on top of it. We washed dishes in the bathroom sink. Someone also gave us a toaster oven as a wedding gift.

This was in south Florida and we had one room air conditioner, no pool. We basically lived in one room, the living room, because the other room/bedroom had no power.

The biggest challenges were birds coming in through a hole in the ceiling from the laundry room that had common walls with us.

On the plus side we were just minutes from the beach.

And no, the close quarters are not why we got divorced. That came 4 years later in bigger digs.

[pinkytoe]

I think about this a lot. Standards have just gone off the charts. We went from a 1500 sf home that seemed just the right size to the current 2100 sf house and it is TOO big. I am finding that empty spaces don't feel right so I am filling them up even though that was not my intention. We do have a tiny master bath but it serves it purpose as the necessary room. Since I am stuck in this big house for now, I am making every effort to at least furnish and decorate with used whenever I can. I would be perfectly content in 800-1200 if it was laid out efficiently. It is hard to find small, stand alone houses.

[Tammy]

Suburbs probably don’t have small houses. But here in central Phoenix in the 80-100 year old neighborhoods, there’s lots of 1200 sq ft and less houses. However people are often loath to live in the “dangerous neighborhoods”.

[iris lilies]

Also, continuing the conversation of oir Hermann house renovation, we may end up living full time there.

[sweetana3]

I guess I just have to laugh about all the current discussions on house sizes and expectations. My parents moved to Alaska in 1953 and bought around a 750 or so sq. foot home with 2 bedrooms, one tiny bathroom and a partial basement. At the time they had one child. 3 more kids later and they had added one bedroom expanded the dinette area to a dining/desk space with unfinished basement area underneath. That is all. We all survived and actually thrived.

But the caveat was we spent most of our time outside all year around. I think the gangs of kids scared away any wild animals. Inside, we could play in our small bedrooms, read, study in dining area, etc.

When my hubby and I got married at 19/20, we lived in an illegally converted db. car garage and thought we had gone to heaven. Again, in Alaska and expectations were that the living space was safe and heated and that was pretty much all.

[Float On]

One bathroom can fill the needs of even a large family....until one or more gets the flu.

[Gardnr]

No... don't tell me that!

IL: Yes, that was the very logical course of action for me. I don't get why people would be offended or unwilling to sleep somewhere else and still get together during the day. I'm inclined to be like the Nearings, who said that people liked to come by, but not stay, because they had to work and the food wasn't great. She told them "suit yourself" and felt no guilt when they left early. It was her life, after all. And that's how I'm feeling these days.

Having had this experience when invited to family events, arriving to find out we are in a hotel (at our own expense which is NOT my issue).....it does feel quite different. You wake up in a hotel, make coffee IF it is provided, shower get dressed, wait for a phone call or text that says "we're up, come on over, get in car, drive to "the home" where everyone has been up chatting and catching up for awhile, comfy in their jammies or shorts or sweats and you feel like you've missed out on half the day. and the reverse in the evening. Now if it's close walking distance allowing a stroll over in jammies that is different.

Don't get me wrong, we have only 1 guest room in each city and mountain home. Well, the cabin has an open loft with a double bed so we could have 4 guests in beds. We did not buy for a bunch of guests a few days each year.

[razz]

When we visited DD2 and her DH, we stayed at a hotel because it was easier for my DH with a bad knee. We left for some space time on our own and gave them space as well. We set a time for coming back. May I suggest that it is not the hotel that is the problem but the communication between the parties? Our DSIL would state the time to come to help prepare for wonderful crepes that he made for Breakfast or any the other meals. We made out choices accordingly. I never expected either as a host or guest to have full-time access to another's time.

Sorry to hear that this has become an issue but talking it through will resolve it, I hope.

[Selah]

For me, an absolute must-have is my own office with a door that shuts firmly. And a washer-dryer. I don't need (or want) to pay extra for a formal dining room or a guest room. If people desperately want to stay with us (they don't), they can sleep on our very comfortable sofa! As my family all ages together, we all want more and more privacy and don't want the pressure of being a good guest!