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Thread: How much of your life do you live your way?

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  1. #1
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    How much of your life do you live your way?

    The father of a good friend of mine from the old neighborhood passed away a couple days ago. He was 64, a type 2 diabetic, a heavy smoker, a daily pot smoker, and he led a largely sedentary lifestyle.

    He lived his life his way though, despite being fully aware of the risks.

    He loved motorcycles and took numerous long trips -- crossed the country every which way with his friends and with his sons when they grew up.

    He loved Mary Jane and smoked it daily. He loved his cancer sticks too. He also loved car racing, his wife, his four sons, and his four grandsons.

    He also loved junk food!

    He had a major heart attack and passed away though.

    But everyone said the same things:
    "He died at home surrounded by his loved ones, and it was fast."
    "He lived life the way he wanted."
    "He knew how to make himself happy."

    No one seemed all that sad. No one was haunted by regrets about him.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    I am that age and hopefully I have 20 more years. Some are choices and some are genetic.

  3. #3
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Wow. This hits home.

    You could be describing my husband, although in place of "daily pot smoker" substitute "heavy drinker". As a wife, I used to try to "suggest" lifestyle improvements (like, "honey, instead of using the riding mower to go talk to our next door neighbor, why not walk?") or even "control" how he lives his life but after 42 years, I've realized it's his life.

    He has an old antique engraving of a 17th century guy sitting under a tree, fat as the tree stump, with a pipe and a jug and a big smile on his face. It's his favorite piece of art, because he's looking in the mirror, 21st century style.

    He depends on his doctors to keep him alive. He takes two blood pressure medications, a statin, a proton pump inhibitor for his Barrett's esophagus, folic acid and Omega 3 to keep his triglycerides in check. He eats nothing but animal protein and often in the form of cured deli meats and hot dogs.

    And, like your friend, he adores his wife, his four kids, and his three grandkids. And we love him.

    He is also 64, and is living his life his way. My way is different to be sure. If I tried to change him, I wouldn't be living my life, I'd be trying to live his life. I have to stay on my side of the street, love him for who he is, and let him be.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  4. #4
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Are you asking if I am living my life in my way? Absolutely!

    I don't smoke anything, drink tea, occasional coffee, water and milk, eat good food but not too much and exercise by walking, gardening, and doing my own chores.

    I love my family, friends and visit with everyone as I go about my life which is rich in arts and joy. I feel and am so grateful to feel so blessed.

    I aim to greet everyone and see them with value and worth, correcting my thought if I see anything less than. I do believe that what one sees is reflected back.

    I really don't care what is said at my passing. I feel that is totally irrelevant. It is how one conducts oneself now that gives one's joy or sorrow.

  5. #5
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    There's certainly something to be said for that approach--do what you want to do, and when you die, you die.

    My reasons for doing things like quitting smoking, dieting and exercising are more pragmatic than idealistic. After a dozen or so years of pack-a-day smoking, I quit at 30 not so much because of the long-term fear of disease--at that age the possibility of getting cancer or heart disease in your 50s still seems pretty remote--but because of the immediate effect it was having on my overall quality of life. I try to watch my diet because I feel better when I'm less fat. Same thing with exercise, which is good not just for weight control and overall health, but also helps ameliorate my chronic dysthymia.

  6. #6
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    A lot of my life I do, I eat super tasty food that I like, I don't worry about drinking whatever I like, I love a lot of my work (kids are better than grownups), I live in the best state ever (but please don't move here, just legalize pot in your own state), I have my kids close by,

    The only difference is mine is a vegetarian, healthy, never alcohol or smoking, lots of meditation life. I can relate because not everyone loves my life and often people think I do these things out of some type of sacrifice rather than I just really love living this way. If I died hiking or meditating then at least people will knownI did what I loved

  7. #7
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    "He eats nothing but animal protein and often in the form of cured deli meats and hot dogs."

    I couldn't let that one go by...
    Here's a kindred spirit--the daughter of a physician--who healed a lifetime of ailments by going full carnivore:
    Xhttp://foodmed.net/2018/05/mikhaila-...irl-carnivore/

    “There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way--and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it.” Christopher Morley

    I saved this quotation years ago--and it still speaks to me--but it's damned hard to live by. Good for your old neighbor for pulling it off.

  8. #8
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JaneV2.0 View Post
    [I]
    Good for your old neighbor for pulling it off.
    That "old neighbor" is my husband. He's the one I'm writing about in that post. He eats nothing but animal protein (and I forgot to add a lot of white bread and pastries). But you must admit that nitrates in large doses can't be good for you. Neither are all those processed wheat products.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  9. #9
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    The "old neighbor" I mentioned was UL's.

    I knew you were writing about your husband--I kind of suspected his wasn't a carnivore diet like the woman cited follows--a lot of people can't handle wheat products. I don't think nitrates--your saliva and celery, for two, are full of them--are particularly worrisome, personally. (She types. eating a Reuben sandwich on rye...)

  10. #10
    Senior Member Gardenarian's Avatar
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    I have a hard time understanding choosing to live in a way that would likely leave me sick and feeble and unable to care for myself.

    UL, your friend had a quick death, but a lot of hard drinking, hard smoking, sedentary, junk-food people end up on dialysys, losing mobility, carting around oxygen, and being dependent on family and health care systems for years before they die.

    And despite his tough facade, I bet he felt like crap a lot of the time.

    That's not how I choose to live.

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