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Thread: How much of your life do you live your way?

  1. #41
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by razz View Post
    Her post told you what she chose, UL. This response from you is almost snarky and rude. Read her whole beautiful post about courage, blessings, kindness of strangers and life choices.
    I thought maybe she had to choose one for awhile and then at some point the positive things started going her way. I meant no offense.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  2. #42
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by flowerseverywhere View Post
    i assume your first line is a poor attempt to be funny.

    And by the question I asked, the title is how much of your life do you live your way? So what is the true answer for each person. So SO does not meet your expectations. Work sucks. I get it. None of us live in a fairy tale. We all need to figure out how to support ourselves. But I have met poor people who just have their basic needs met and are full of purpose and joy. And I think of a thrice divorced man I know sitting on a lake in a gorgeous house, fancy cars and fine wine whose kids have little to do with him. Which way would you prefer?
    If there are obstacles to overcome in life is it helped by complaining about your poor circumstances or are there small joys you can find? Most of us have access to some green spaces we can walk in, birds to spot, library books to read, the ability to cook good food and good work to help the less fortunate? Can we not find our life purpose in the simple things? Can we make changes in ourselves (not someone else) to make our lives more of our own?
    I feel like, because of some circumstances outside my control or partly outside my control, and because of some bad decisions, I sort of let my life get away from me. I succumbed to fear.

    So now I am thinking: How can I get back on track a little bit?
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  3. #43
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by flowerseverywhere View Post
    Can we not find our life purpose in the simple things? Can we make changes in ourselves (not someone else) to make our lives more of our own?
    Umm, isn't our belief in that idea why we all participate in a Web forum on simple living?
    If Americans expended even a fraction of the energy on civic engagement that we spend on consumer ideology, our democracy would be much healthier. Can you imagine people camping out to vote? -- Charles Roberts, Amherst, Mass., Nov. 25, 2006

  4. #44
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    I feel like, because of some circumstances outside my control or partly outside my control, and because of some bad decisions, I sort of let my life get away from me. I succumbed to fear.

    So now I am thinking: How can I get back on track a little bit?
    What decisions based on fear took you off track? What would living your life your way look like to you?
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  5. #45
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    I feel like, because of some circumstances outside my control or partly outside my control, and because of some bad decisions, I sort of let my life get away from me. I succumbed to fear.

    So now I am thinking: How can I get back on track a little bit?
    I believe everyone, at all times, makes the decisions that benefit them the most at that moment. That is not to say that every decision is a good one in the long run -- or that we are immune from the consequences of our choices. But whether the decision is to steal something because we have no money but really need that next hit of drugs, or choosing to commit to a new romantic interest, or deciding to pursue our passion rather than a more lucrative line of work, each decision reflects what we want most at that moment regardless of the consequences (which we may even know at that time are not beneficial).

    Every day is full of decisions. When do I choose to wake up? Do I have a nutritious breakfast or go for the Honey-Frosted Sugar Bombs? Do I let thoughts of how much I dislike my job poison my day right away? Do I say something kind to a coworker, not knowing (s)he really needs some positive feedback? Thousands of decisions, all of them an expression of who we believe ourselves to be.

    Any of us can start making different decisions, from now on. Choose to express who you are in your decisions right away. Eat lunch more happily knowing you are eating foods which improve your health. Do something nice for your SO because you value that she is in your life. Draw more pictures because that makes you happy and expresses a creative side of you that doesn't (or can't) show up at work or in other activities.

    Though the consequences of earlier decisions may take time to change, you're not mired in a situation and how you feel about it. You can move away from it. It's your life. Take it back.
    If Americans expended even a fraction of the energy on civic engagement that we spend on consumer ideology, our democracy would be much healthier. Can you imagine people camping out to vote? -- Charles Roberts, Amherst, Mass., Nov. 25, 2006

  6. #46
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    I don't even believe we make bad decisions just because we choose to make decisions that are good in the short term and bad in the long run (well the human race collectively maybe ... and anyone lost in addiction .. and maybe most of us sometimes with some things). But I think more often we have flawed understanding of things, usually think we know more than we do, get lost in false and blind certainties etc.. It's mostly that the human mind is a bad decision making device PERIOD. But what else have we got? (uh AI isn't making our life decisions right?).

    As for fear the whole idea that we should be fearless is itself a pretty crazy and extreme dictate. There is plenty in life to fear. Now when fear gets outright irrational and out of hand that is usually the realm of phobias and therapy, but many of our fears are plenty rational (although we won't escape death, no matter how much we fear it, but most are in no hurry to bring it on for instance).
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  7. #47
    Moderator Float On's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    So now I am thinking: How can I get back on track a little bit?
    I'm not really sure you can ever get back to the same track. But, you can go from here and create a new track.
    Float On: My "Happy Place" is on my little kayak in the coves of Table Rock Lake.

  8. #48
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    Another issue that makes life directions complicated today is that we have infinitely more choices than in the past. On some days, I'm not sure that is a good thing. Not for me anyway who is easily overwhelmed by choice. Also, we are so overexposed to how other people lead their lives, that it can be hard to parse out our own reality. Envy and comparisons pop up. I sometimes wish I could float above myself and peer down objectively at the life I am living. Does it make sense? Are my fears founded? Am I enjoying my time?

  9. #49
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore View Post
    I don't even believe we make bad decisions just because we choose to make decisions that are good in the short term and bad in the long run (well the human race collectively maybe ... and anyone lost in addiction .. and maybe most of us sometimes with some things). But I think more often we have flawed understanding of things, usually think we know more than we do, get lost in false and blind certainties etc.. It's mostly that the human mind is a bad decision making device PERIOD. But what else have we got?
    I stand by my view of the universe. Yes, our understandings of things often are flawed. What's the old Maya Angelou line? "I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better." So you keep making decisions. You still always will make the decision that you feel is best according to what you know and how you feel at the time. When more information or additional perspective comes along, you get to address the decision again, based on what you know and how you feel. Maybe the answer is the same; maybe it's not. Maybe the consequences can be mitigated; maybe they cannot.

    Saying the human mind is a "bad decision making device" implies that there is at least one "good decision making device" out there. If there isn't one, then is the mind truly a "bad" device? There's no frame of reference. There is no "cold" unless there's "hot". Maybe this is as good as decision-making ever gets.
    If Americans expended even a fraction of the energy on civic engagement that we spend on consumer ideology, our democracy would be much healthier. Can you imagine people camping out to vote? -- Charles Roberts, Amherst, Mass., Nov. 25, 2006

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