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Thread: Funeral aesthetics?

  1. #11
    Senior Member Simplemind's Avatar
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    Thank you rosarugosa, that means a lot to me. My mom got the big funeral so I figured my dad deserved a good write up. He was such a character, I think it would have made him smile.

  2. #12
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    As a woodworker, I am tempted to build my burn box. As to my ashes, well a Kansas song comes to mind. Visitation, well leave that up to the family, if they need that for closure.
    I expect to write up my own obit complete at some point, as of now, I just have "Now is your chance to be the first in line to piss on the grave of".
    This old Doctor Demento tune springs to mind, but it also brings back memories of the serial killer I dealt with:



    I will be dead, funerals are for the living.

  3. #13
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    Wow SM that made me cry. It was such a awesome obituary. My Dad would wake us up by yelling “It’s daylight in the swamp, the animals were up and I can’t remember the rest but it was funny.

  4. #14
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    I don’t need to burn a boat or any such stuff. The instructions in my “death book” are to stick with the basics. Strip me for parts, regular Catholic service and have the guys from the American Legion fire a few rounds over what’s left. Then forget about me and divide up my stuff. Keep the drama to a minimum.

  5. #15
    Senior Member SiouzQ.'s Avatar
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    Oh boy, this is a timely topic for me as I am in the middle of trying to plan a memorial from 1500 miles away for my daughter who died tragically WAY, WAY before her time and under tragic circumstances. It will be four weeks from tomorrow and I am having issues with her dad (who I have been divorced from since 1993) and other stuff going on with that side of the family. Super dysfunctional and it is really stressing me out me and it is all falling onto me anyway. I just found out this morning that the ex has issues with the venue I chose (though he didn't say anything about it at the time and wasn't able to offer any help with finding a different place due to his own mental issues). I feel like I am entering a minefield without having any idea what others expectations are about the event itself, or even if some members from that side of the family are even going to make it the memorial celebration.

    It's one thing to live a full life and get old and to be able to plan what you would want and let your relatives know; quite another to have a child so abruptly gone and have to deal with first the initial crisis, and now the planning of some sort of gathering two months after the fact from far away.

    Here is what is planned so far: I got my mom to rent the large room at our Senior Center in our town. It's in a beautiful heavily shaded neighborhood with tall old trees, there are banquet tables, card tables, a kitchen to use, a wall screen and projector, and a small sound system. I want to keep it very simple, just a linen table-clothed "memory" table with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and candles with pictures and memorabilia, some light snacks and drinks. I want there to be time for people to get up and speak about my daughter and what a wonderful person she was in spite of her many challenges.

    Most of all I want it to be over...

  6. #16
    Senior Member SiouzQ.'s Avatar
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    Oh boy, this is a timely topic for me as I am in the middle of trying to plan a memorial from 1500 miles away for my daughter who died tragically WAY, WAY before her time and under tragic circumstances. It will be four weeks from tomorrow and I am having issues with her dad (who I have been divorced from since 1993) and other stuff going on with that side of the family. Super dysfunctional and it is really stressing me out me and it is all falling onto me anyway. I just found out this morning that the ex has issues with the venue I chose (though he didn't say anything about it at the time and wasn't able to offer any help with finding a different place due to his own mental issues). I feel like I am entering a minefield without having any idea what others expectations are about the event itself, or even if some members from that side of the family are even going to make it the memorial celebration.

    It's one thing to live a full life and get old and to be able to plan what you would want and let your relatives know; quite another to have a child so abruptly gone and have to deal with first the initial crisis, and now the planning of some sort of gathering two months after the fact from far away.

    Here is what is planned so far: I got my mom to rent the large room at our Senior Center in our town. It's in a beautiful heavily shaded neighborhood with tall old trees, there are banquet tables, card tables, a kitchen to use, a wall screen and projector, and a small sound system. I want to keep it very simple, just a linen table-clothed "memory" table with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and candles with pictures and memorabilia, some light snacks and drinks. I want there to be time for people to get up and speak about my daughter and what a wonderful person she was in spite of her many challenges.

    Most of all I want it to be over...

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToomuchStuff View Post
    As a woodworker, I am tempted to build my burn box. As to my ashes, well a Kansas song comes to mind. Visitation, well leave that up to the family, if they need that for closure.
    I expect to write up my own obit complete at some point, as of now, I just have "Now is your chance to be the first in line to piss on the grave of".
    This old Doctor Demento tune springs to mind, but it also brings back memories of the serial killer I dealt with:



    I will be dead, funerals are for the living.
    I love this! I want it played at my "wake." hehe

  8. #18
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    I would plan it the way you want and ignore your ex and os. You are the one doing all the work. My BF’s 19 yo daughter got a rare liver disease, had a transplant and didn’t live 24 hours. 6 years later it is still hard. We shouldn’t have to bury our kids. Sending you a big hug.

  9. #19
    Senior Member beckyliz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    I have a preplanned longship burial, and if my wishes are not followed, my estate goes elsewhere.
    This would be my DH's preferred method, too.
    "Do not accumulate for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and thieves break in and steal. But accumulate for yourselves treasure in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, your heart is also." Jesus

  10. #20
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    All I ask is that someone in charge makes sure I'm actually dead before they trundle me into the crematory oven.

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