I guess what I'm trying to say is that there's no reason you can't enjoy all the benefits of US citizenship. By all popular (but misguided) accounts you're a person of privilege, over-educated for your chosen profession, in a stable partnership, homeowner, landlord, employed full time, healthy, able and upwardly mobile. The only problem seems to be that you've been taught and encouraged to hate your country of birth, a country that has no expectations of you but may never live up to yours, which is a shame, life here is pretty damn good when you let it and I don't think you're able to acknowledge that.