At The End Of The Road

[boss mare]

I don't know where to put this. It could go in Work Place too.
I am a High School Drop Out.... And I don't have a GED. There. I said it. The reason being is that I have a huge math phobia. I am dyslexic with numbers. I grew up in the 60's and 70's where it was not really addressed . Coupled with the fact that my step dad is an engineer and math was second nature to him. Then add to the mix that he grew up in an abusive home. He got very frustrated with me because I would transpose my numbers and I was failing math. I would have home work. Math was like a foreign language to me. He would try to help me with my math. I would transpose everything. And he would hit me every time I did it wrong. Of course that made things worse. After years of this, they just let me sink. And as long as I didn't have to deal with math, I excelled in all of my other classes. English, Social Studies, you name it, I had it covered. But was not able to graduate high school due to math. And in 1978 that was fine by me. I wanted to be out of the house, have my books, music, art, horses and attend midnight showings of the Rocky Horror Picture Show on the weekends and be left alone. I was able to live ok as I was single and had a job that paid pretty good and had a lot of OT. And it didn't require proof of a high school diploma or GED. I was ( and am) very well spoken, smart and well polished. Except for math. And I was able to bluff my way out of any social interactions that had to do with math

After about 10 years out of high school the menial job with the mandatory OT was getting old. And my interest in riding/showing horses had out grew the local saddle club . I wanted to show at the breed ( Appaloosa) regional with an eye at the National level. I found out that I needed to go back to school in order to make the kind of money that I needed without the excessive OT
A series of events lead me to going to school as a dental assistant. One of the requirements was that I needed at high school diploma or high school equivalent. It was an eleven month program. The school advisor said that I could take my GED during the program. Which my math phobia turned into an out and out panic attack. I did quite well in dental assisting school passed everything with a 95% or better. But since I never got my GED, All I got was a certificate that I attended the course. No diploma that I actually graduated .

That never held me back from getting good jobs as a dental assistant. Very very good jobs. No one ever asked if I graduated from high school or had a high school equivalent. I could bluff my way through any math issues without much problems I was/ am good as my job.
I grew up in a suburb of Seattle and by 2003, the cute 1900 sq ft house with an equally cute 3 stall barn on one acre that I bought in 1989 was being was being squeezed out by housing developments and high property taxes. I had also since 1989 gotten married, divorced ad remarried, Went to the Appaloosa Nationals several times and placed in the ribbons. I was a supporter of the local saddle clubs and breed regional clubs. I had also dated a lot of men . Not one person suspected that I was not the well polished person I pretended I was .
My current husband and I decided to move closer to his job and to my horse trainer. We moved to a place that had a much much lower cost of living and was able to pay cash for our new place. Fast forward to the recession. I got a job with a nonprofit organization . My resume was great and not one person asked me about my high school diploma or GED. This was in 2009. This non-profit organization has several branches that caters to low income families. A dental center, a daycare/ pre school, a medical center and a respite center for medically fragile children for their caretakers. Fast forward to a month ago, the dental practice is being bought by another ( very large) non-profit organization . We , had to interview for our jobs " as a formality" . On my resume, I just put XZY High School 1978. When I interviewed, nothing was asked about it. However, I j( and everyone else that I work with) just received a packet and a list of things that we have to produce. One of which says " diploma" it doesn't say to what though. I went on their website and clicked on " Careers" and every one of them, even the janitorial jobs says you must have a high school diploma or equivalent .
What should I do ? Do I go to them see if they will let me take a GED? Do I fake my way through it? I will also add that I only work part time, just to pay for my horse habit. But dental is what I have done for a long time. If I can work in a high end cosmetic dental office and then spend 9 years at a non profit office that I helped build, then does it really matter if I have a GED or high school diploma? I am very good that what I do and I have had a lot of parents and their children request that I see their kids. Does my math phobia really matter now? It's now really turned into a math panic mode.
Sorry if this is long and rambling.

[iris lilies]

Aw, sweetie, this is awful. I would be tempted to turn in a fake one. Surely there are places on the internet that produce such things.

Or, ignore it, turn in everything else. See what happens. If they ask for it, feign ignorance, tell them you are in the process of obtaining your high school diploma. Stall.

I wonder what rosa says about this situation, wasnt she in HR?

[Teacher Terry]

Not a lot was known about learning disabilities during your time in school. You can take the pre ged tests which are a really good indication of if you can pass the tests or if you need remedial work. Honestly if there is some fast online high school diploma that you can pass and they will accept that would be a great solution. At this point you are competent in your job and math has little to do with it. I was a career counselor for people with disabilities and this type of stuff is very frustrating. You have already proven that you are competent in your job.

[razz]

As others have noted, the understanding of dyslexia has come a long way. You have demonstrated life experience in a very positive manner to date and that is often the deciding factor.
I would be open about this life experience, I don't believe it is unusual.
May I add that this is a fear of math that has governed your life for a long time and impacted your self-esteem and self-image. Could you talk to a counsellor in an educational facility nearby about how math dyslexia training is managed today?
I have a friend who is math dyslexic and became a book keeper because a teacher knew and understood what was needed. You are not alone.

[rosarugosa]

I'm sorry for your difficult situation, Boss Mare. I can only give input in the context of my former employer's practices. I would not recommend a fake diploma and I would not lie about graduating from HS. We would have failed someone on the basis of misrepresentation regardless of how irrelevant the credential was. If they are going to run a background check (sounds like they might be planning that), the vendor may very well know what schools are "diploma mills."
I would just provide the dental assisting certificate and see how that flies.
For a long-range strategy, I wonder if there is any way to obtain some warm and fuzzy math tutoring so you could get your GED? I really hated math until I got to college, where I actually learned to enjoy it very much. However, for me it was indeed like an alien language unless it was taught/presented by an instructor I could relate to. Being hit for making mistakes definitely wouldn't have qualified! It just sounds like your might feel better if you actually obtained your GED. I personally think you can be a "well polished" person even without one.

[Yppej]

I would think the employer is required to make accommodations for disabled applicants, so I would try to get a doctor to declare you disabled/dyslexic and then discuss with the employer.

[Tybee]

I second Yppej's suggestion. I also recommend getting a GED-- you can travel to Maine and get one without any residency, also Georgia, I think. Get the GED prep book --go to Amazon and there is a complete selection. You can also take classes in your home state and take classes online, and you could probably take it in your home state immediately--I just know about Maine because I arranged for my son to go there to my brother's when he dropped out of high school.

If you have the dyslexia disability documentation and the math phobia, you may be able to get some kind of waiver in your home state for the math portion? Go see an employment lawyer and work out a strategy for dealing with the HR. You may just need a little time-- 6 weeks or so--to prep for the tests, and then you will be able to pass it, it is not hard like taking an SAT test. The GED's are not that hard. And maybe you can waive out with a documented disability of one portion.

I would go to my state's website on GED and then go see someone from the county about the completion classes and taking the test, go explain your situation. They will help you. It will be fine.

[catherine]

Oh, boy, that is so tough. Having a son who dropped out of high school, I can identify with the frustrations of being a completely capable human being but having to dance to these types of rules.

My question is, how does this corporation handle the data? Is it, check the "I don't have a diploma" box and the computer will automatically throw you out? Or can you actually talk to a human being? If it's the latter, I would be tempted to do what IL said. Just don't include it. They'll either assume you don't have it, and they won't care it's not there, or they will have to dot their i's in which case they will contact you and give you an opportunity to explain the dyslexia and to remind them that you have spent your entire long life doing outstanding work in your field, despite a learning disability. I think any reasonable manager would let your past experience speak for itself.

[Gardnr]

Never lie on a resume. "forget" to answer is different-I too would suggest that route.

Meanwhile, do some research and see if you can find a way to get that GED-there must be programs out there. If you need to work awhile longer, it's worth it. i think these days you'd be hard pressed to find a decent paying job that does not require a high school diploma/GED.

[lmerullo]

I'm sorry you're so stressed about this! Getting your GED seems like the simple answer, but I'm sure you don't think you'd pass, or would have done so. Personally, I'd not lie or get a fake diploma, but to each his own.

My son was in a similar situation. He completed high school at the end of 11th grade with a certificate of completion. He also got a marine mechanics certification. He went on to college, dive classes, eventually a dive instructor, a marine captain oh, and throw in security guard/ body guard and defensive driving instructor. One job as a government contractor circled around and told him he didn't have a high school diploma and it was a requirement for the position( which he'd been in for six months, and previously with another company). At 26 he had to go get a GED - almost ten years after getting out of school. He says it was very humbling. Ultimately, he just showed up and tested, no classes required.

The specs for the job you're in may have been written as minimum standards, with no waiver allowed. Thus was the case for my ds. He had "x", which is equal to "y", but isn't "y" and"y" is required. Bring me "y".

I hope you are able to find a solution that would work for you!