Thank you for the validation on the room. I don’t usually internalize things like that. Get angry, yes, but the overwhelming sense of frustration and hopelessness is out of proportion. I may be too invested in my job. That room is one of the few totally safe spaces in my life. I wasn’t expecting the level of disruption that was going on in the building. Other teachers will help me move my stuff. And I will help them. The kids will come back. The middlers will make crude jokes about the “wax”, the teens will try to help me clean it.
The wanting to peel my skin off thing is physical though. It may be psychosomatic, but it’s an actual physical sensation that started during the really bad depression in June, not a metaphor.
Today is my anniversary. Dh and I have nothing planned except that he is staying home all day. (Rare) the weather is supposed to be overcast, rainy, and hot. I just need to do regular every day things - chores, laundry, dishes, exercise, class planning.... only the classes are really pressing right now.