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Thread: still a little sad

  1. #1
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    still a little sad

    It is the first day of school, I did the morning program and am taking my mid-day break. It sounds like in this district they are really good about not working overtime. That is really cool, and a little odd still. I was trying to get my lunch together today and realized I don't need it. I also am not the one who would work an 11 hour day on dismissal days that are short staffed. If I ever needed to we would flex the time so I was still within 40.

    So I will settle in, but I also am still feeling sad. Not sure if it is a meds thing or a therapy thing. My on-line counselor is going well, She says that it will just take time, probably more than I expected. I miss my old workplace, my old department and people so very much. Anything before last school year I did some grumbling but I still really loved my work. I was super invested in serving lower income families and now I am in a high income school. The parents are SUPER nice when I have been making phone calls and meeting them. It will help to keep this more of a job than something that takes over my life like when I am more socially motivated to serve.

    I am looking forward to this afternoon but not the same as I have felt the last few years. I am also super looking forward to the weekend, maybe go hiking or something to get out of town.

  2. #2
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    To be so emotionally invested in a job and then less so in a new location, it is normal to feel different. You were used to the intensity that is now missing. A mild form of PTSD maybe?
    As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

  3. #3
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    A little grief mixed in with the sadness of how it all transpired. Grief feelings are valid and everyone processes differently. Just focus on the current good and find one or more students/parents you can help with something since you are a caregiver at your core.

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    if might be the sadness as a result of getting something better, it reveals the loss that was involved with being in a bad situation for so long ("wow I wasted x years of my life in that miserable job WHEN BETTER EXISTED? Why didn't' anyone tell me that better existed?!?"). No I'm not implying it was a choice. Maybe it was not, one gets opportunities when one gets them, not always when one wants them.

    But there is a sadness and a loss that ONLY becomes visible when things get better, to know the constant putting up with a bad situation, tests of our strength and endurance which surely we have, wasn't "how life has to be", that it could actually be better. So it's the grief for all one lost all those years. Ok it also might be missing the old job, I don't know.
    Trees don't grow on money

  5. #5
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    I think it doesn’t feel right because you are used to being stressed and going at 100 mph. Higher income families will come with problems too that you can assist with. Plus you are used to being treated badly so now doesn’t feel right. I bet anything that not only will you adjust but you will end up loving your new job. Hang in there)

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    There is something honorable in dealing with low income families but that job was just bad bad bad bad bad. Do more volunteering someday eventually if you absolutely think you have to be contributing more. But for now I'd just rest, have some fun.
    Trees don't grow on money

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetana3 View Post
    A little grief mixed in with the sadness of how it all transpired. Grief feelings are valid and everyone processes differently.
    Processing grief often seems like 2 steps forward... 1 step back.

    A weekend hike sounds like a fabulous idea... provided that the air quality is ok. I understand that the worst things in a smoke plume are particles of ash smaller than 2.5 microns. Wishing you fresh air and maximum visibility... and a Rocky Mountain High
    Now he walks in quiet solitude
    the forests and the streams
    seeking grace in every step he takes
    his sight has turned inward
    himself to try and understand
    the serenity of a clear blue mountain lake...


    -- John Denver

  8. #8
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Yes, you were in your comfort zone, as UNcomfortable as it was. You will need to accept the process of grief, acceptance, and moving on. It will happen. Embrace the good things.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

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    I really appreciate this from you all. It helps when I think there is a reason for me being where I am. Who knows what it is yet, but it matters to me

  10. #10
    Senior Member Sad Eyed Lady's Avatar
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    Just because they are high income families doesn't mean the children don't have some of the same problems and maybe more hidden ones since they are from a more affluent/social strata. You will be needed.
    "Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk in the midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free." Leonard Cohen

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