Do you think some of us are simply more difficult to love than others? Perhaps because of quirks or idiosyncrasies in our personalities?
Do you think some of us are simply more difficult to love than others? Perhaps because of quirks or idiosyncrasies in our personalities?
No. People who know how to love, put their partners interests first. It’s that simple. Don’t have to make it complicated.Originally Posted by Ultralight
Every crooked little teapot has a crooked little lid)
I think that there are people it would be hard for me to love, and people it would be hard for you to love, and people it would be hard for Alan to love... but they are probably mostly not the same people.
some people are more able to love, and some people are more likely to be loved because they have traits that make them appeal to more people and meet more people. Rather than more or less loveable, it might be helpful to think of them as broadly or narrowly loveable.
I don’t love the man who beat my heart daughter. But his mother does.
What are you loving?
I love those who exhibit qualities that I appreciate - intelligence, analytical, thoughtful empathic, enthusiastic, serene... These may well be very different than another's choice.
UL, this is not a physical thing at all. There are gorgeous people but I don't love them for that. There are those who are very unique in appearance that I really cherish for who they are in their daily lives including how they think and act.
As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”
I think some of us make it hard to love us. I'm not referring to you particularly UL, though it could be true, but like I could know that from a discussion board (I mean sure you troll and can be annoying here, but I really don't think a discussion board has that much in common with a relationship). I think *I* do sometimes in relationship, I act in ways that are hard to love (don't imagine anything real extreme mind you, but i get quarrelsome etc.).
I don't know that I believe one must put their partners interest first. One should consider one's partners interest, compromise etc.. But really still isn't one's ultimate responsibility oneself? Yea, I think so. It doesn't mean something silly like one gets everything they want, it is about what it gets down to in a truly hard choice.
Trees don't grow on money
So if I put my partner's interests first and she puts my interests first I imagine us standing in front of a doorway saying:
"You first, honey."
"No, you."
"Really, I insist."
"I am more insistent."
"Actually, I am the insistentest about you going first."
"No, you!"
And so on.
Sure, pretty people are easier to love. If they have a spark of wit or smarts, they are easy to adore.
Thats just the way it is here in human land, we humans are vulnerable to beauty.
My bulldogs are beautiful TO ME and I fall in love with them faster than I would long snouted, long legged, smart dogs. I like ‘em dumb, sweet,soft, squishy faced.
Or there's a lid for every pot...Every crooked little teapot has a crooked little lid)
It took me 3 marriages to get it right. I think you need to find someone where your personalities are compatible, you are attracted to them and you really have fun with. 20 years later my husband still makes me laugh daily. Also I really care about his needs as much as my own and he tries to meet my needs.
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