I am flying back to Michigan on Wednesday for a whirlwind week marked with two dfiferent occasions: the first is that my neice is getting married on Sunday and secondly, my daughter's Memorial Celebration will be on Tuesday, the day after Labor Day.
All I know it has been both a very long summer, yet one in which time went by incredibly fast. It's been full of buckets of tears, some smiles and laughter, unfathomable grief and mental anguish, physical pain, exhaustion, stupid accidents, great monetary success with my jewlery, and good finances.
Who knew grieving could be so tiring? It truly is a full body experience; I feel like I have aged a lot in two months. It doesn't help that I technically broke my right foot due to a stupid accident a month ago (it is healing up nicely and I can actually get my shoe on), but I am having ongoing lower back and hip issues (started PT for that last week), and I am also in the middle of MRI's and EMG testing so I can finally figure out what can be done about my wrists.
I am looking forward to getting through my week back in Michigan – it will be nice to see my family and friends but it is sure stirring up a lot of feelings that I have managed these past two months since my daughter died. In some ways it feels like it just happened and I am reliving the trauma of it over again by going back.
I seriously need to put my health at the forefront when I get back to New Mexico ~ I have let things slide a bit. Exercise (something that doesn't hurt my already hurting parts), watching my diet, getting enough sleep, trying to reduce my partaking of alcohol (I am starting to think the cumulative effect of having two glasses of wine 4 or 5 nights a week at Happy Hour is possibly contributing to my all-over tiredness). It will be nice when the tourist season starts to wind down a little bit in October; the constant dealing with people in a retail setting is tiring enough as it is, especially when you live and work in the same building.
In spite of everything, I think I have been doing pretty okay. My boyfriend has been such a rock for me to lean on and I am so grateful for that. I do not know how I would have been able to get through all this without him.