We talk a lot here about crises situations with elderly parents. Here is one that will probably go well, or at least ok, for the next few years.
DH’s father fell and broke his hip a few weeks ago. My father in law, age 88, lives on a farm, has dementia, lives with a girlfriend ten years younger. Girlfriend had a leg injury and went to her own home for several weeks of recovery. During this period my father in law’s kids came to take care of him and on DH’s watch, the old man fell and broke his hip. Oops. But no one blames DH, it was bound to happen sooner or later.
DH and his brother wrapped the broken bone leg in cardboard, secured it with duct tape, loaded their dad into the truck, and drove him to the hospital. Farm boy emergency medicine at work, haha.
So after surgery and some weeks of recovery, my father in law cannot walk. He is now in a wheelchair and probably will remain non-ambulatory. He is now living in a nursing home. While that is really too bad for him, it is the best his family can do for him. He will not be happy there but we can hope he adjusts.
He is a low income, high net worth person. His income is around $30,000 without farm income, and the nursing home is probably around $80,000 annually. He has enough liquid financial assets to cover 4-5 years of nursing home care before he would have to sell his farm.
His youngest son farms the place and pays my father in law cash rent. This son keeps livestock at the farm and visits it dailey, so someone will be looking at the house daily, checking it in the winter and etc.
The girlfriend, disliked by most of my father in law’s children, will visit him ( nursing home about 20 minutes away) but will have no influence on nursing home practices.