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Thread: The Journey From Abandonment To Healing

  1. #11
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    Unfortunately we carry ourselves wherever we go. She has made a break but lost her past. It might find her again.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetana3 View Post
    Unfortunately we carry ourselves wherever we go. She has made a break but lost her past. It might find her again.
    True dat.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  3. #13
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    The geographic cure usually doesn't work.

  4. #14
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    Bae, i am so sorry. I am glad the book is a bit of help. I just cannot imagine!

  5. #15
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    She may have been thinking about leaving for years and finally took action. However, the way she did it was crappy. When I left my ex I got a job across the country and left everything I knew. I had been thinking about it for a long time. My kids were finally gone and it was my chance to start a new life. It has been wonderful and after 21 years so happy I made a bold move.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    She may have been thinking about leaving for years and finally took action.
    This could be true. People do this. My ex-wife did this.

    She advocated we move to Columbus, OH where my sister lives. My sister offered us to stay in their very large condo for up to 18 months. My ex-wife and I made the move. Part of the idea was that Columbus would have better job opps for my ex. We also had mutual friends here.

    Well, turns out one week after the move to Columbus she up and left. She had a friend in Columbus who let her move in rent free. So she took one of our dogs and went. Everything else ended quickly after that and the legal divorce was finally less than five months later.

    bae, I hope you can power through this. I hope that there are some surprising silver linings that you would not expect. Sometimes we find these silver linings shortly after the split, or sometimes much later.

    I had a few. I was unencumbered to do some things on my bucket list -- take trips, have flings, and do some serious fishing.

    Maybe there are things you can do when the dust settles a little bit.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  7. #17
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    Chiming in to wish you well, bae.

    Another book that might be of value to the spouse/partner/ex of somebody dealing with depression is Anne Sheffield's Depression Fallout.

  8. #18
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dado potato View Post
    Chiming in to wish you well, bae.

    Another book that might be of value to the spouse/ex of somebody dealing with depression is Anne Sheffield's Depression Fallout.
    Thanks for that - I've been working with that book for several years now, as her depression has been spiraling out of control the past 2-3 years, and found it quite useful. The combination of both of her parents dying within ~2 years, menopause, our child doing the "empty nest" thing, and a new therapist who changed her anti-depressant medications considerably really sent her for a loop.

    I hope she finds peace.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    Thanks for that - I've been working with that book for several years now, as her depression has been spiraling out of control the past 2-3 years, and found it quite useful. The combination of both of her parents dying within ~2 years, menopause, our child doing the "empty nest" thing, and a new therapist who changed her anti-depressant medications considerably really sent her for a loop.

    I hope she finds peace.
    yes, I hope so too. I hope that when you both come out on the other side, you can be friends again--that is a frequent outcome with friendships of such longstanding.

    I know you will find peace, and much happiness, on the other side of this.

  10. #20
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    My ex and I are friends. We attend everything for our kids together and when him and his wife are in town I make his favorite dinner and he does the same for us. It has been really good for our kids even though they were adults when we divorced.

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