The Impossible Task

[JaneV2.0]

M. Molly Backes on Twitter started a thread about "the impossible task." which could be something as simple as paying bills or scheduling a task. for a person with depression:

"The Impossible Task is rarely actually difficult. It’s something you’ve done a thousand times. For this reason, it’s hard for outsiders to have sympathy. “Why don’t you just do it & get it over with?” “It would take you like 20 minutes & then it would be done.” OH, WE KNOW. If you’re grappling with an Impossible Task, you already have these conversations happening in your brain. Plus, there’s probably an even more helpful voice in your brain reminding you of what a screw up you are for not being able to do this seemingly very simple thing."
"

I think she nailed it.

[Zoe Girl]

OMG, this is my life.

Seriously,

I can recognize when I am getting to an impossible task, sometimes I understand the larger picture and how to work around it to still get it done. And I still can't explain to anyone what is happening in a way that makes sense, gets understanding, or just plain help! It is at the point where I have pushed through so much for so many years that I don't want any help most of the time. A major part of my job implosion, that is a longer story that I am leaving behind in the compost.

Bills are the worst, I almost brought my basket of paperwork to a counselors office one time so I could just manage the anxiety about it all. Now I take the fast acting anxiety med if I need it to pay bills or check bank balances.

Can we give her some kind of award or gift card for posting this,

[JaneV2.0]

She got lots of readers and retweets. I know nothing about how Twitter works; I just stumbled on this gem.

She suggests getting help from a friend. So far, the only Impossible Task I haven't been able to (eventually) surmount is getting out of this house; I'm afraid it will only be accomplished feet first.

[Williamsmith]

I finally super glued the decorative part of my bike helmet that kept falling off. It doesn’t provide any added safety to the black styrofoam like substance underneath but it sure seems to make me go faster and look more like I know what I doing. While not technically related to depression, I was feeling a little guilty about how long it was taking me.

[beckyliz]

I read that entire post - it was eye opening. A lot of the people who replied felt such relief in recognizing that in themselves. They realized they weren't actually lazy or good-for-nothing like they'd been told all along.

[Chicken lady]

For me the impossible task changes. And whatever it is just gets bigger and bigger the longer I don’t do it. I guess I have recognized that it was depression in a way, but then, in another way, it never makes sense to me because I can do a bunch of other tasks, some of which are actually harder than the impossible task.

unless the impossible task has established itself as the thing I have to do before I can do anything else. In which case I am blocked, not because any other particular task is too daunting, but because I can’t do anything else yet.

when I just can’t do anything - THAT I have no trouble immediately recognizing as depression.

[SteveinMN]

Thought I'd responded to this post earlier, but I guess not.

"The impossible task" certainly resonates with me. I'm not sure, though, if it's a product of depression or "perfect is the enemy of good" or what.

Sometimes (many times) it's the idea that the project could take 20 minutes or it could take three hours, a trip to a store for stuff I need but don't have on hand, and something like "I've never seen that before" or "Hmm. The instructions don't mention this at all!". I'm afraid of the 20-minute project turning into a minor fiasco. I have enough things to do that will take a while or come at some risk (if I do screw it up, it will cost even more to fix); I really do not look forward to discovering more of them.

ETA I see I responded partially on the "Easing back in" thread.

[Zoe Girl]

I think for me impossible tasks are when I have tried to do many simple tasks that appear to take a short time, and then they explode with complications. So rather than do them quickly when I have limited time I put them off until I have a lot of time just in case. Then at least I am not freaking out when something goes wrong.

Some financial stuff is easier than others, I paid student loan and cell bill today, then got a bill from the counselor I had been seeing so that is another $260. But I can do it and still put money in savings. Sometimes however the impossible thing is making phone calls, or having conversations or who knows. If I have enough space between tasks I am usually better, being rushed or time crunched is almost always bad.

[Gardenarian]

That sounds just terrible. The older I get the more thankful I am I have been spared the nightmare of depression.
My heart goes out to all who are living with this heavy burden.

[JaneV2.0]

That sounds just terrible. The older I get the more thankful I am I have been spared the nightmare of depression.
My heart goes out to all who are living with this heavy burden.

We all have strengths and challenges. some more than others. Although I'm an underachiever par excellence, I wouldn't trade places with anyone; I'm comfortable with my limitations. At least my mental ones.