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Thread: Economic Outpatient Care

  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToomuchStuff View Post
    My experiences are, it isn't wealthy parents who tend to have kids that are EOC, but those that would still be classified as middle class income.
    That's my in-laws. They could have had a comfortable retirement. Instead they are both still working in their late 70s

  2. #52
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    Thinking back to my childhood/teenage years I remember my parents always being 'fussy' when it came to money. Any request was questioned. Is it really necessary, etc. But there were plenty of things where money was spent freely. Like music lessons for my sister and myself. In hindsight my parents were teaching a dual lesson that both my sister and I learned. First, spend thoughtfully on the things that are important only. Second, don't expect your parents to supply your every whim. I took those lessons to heart and was perfectly happy to receive an 8 year old hand-me-down Nissan as my college graduation gift. I did ask for help with an apartment deposit because NJ, where I moved to upon graduation, was pricey. But I paid that back within a year. After that I never again asked for, nor expected, financial support from my parents. They had already given me plenty of things that I will always be grateful for (including the above-mentioned music lessons that helped lead to a half tuition music scholarship at a private university) so it never really occurred to me to ask for more.

    I couldn't quite comprehend the mindset of a friend of a friend in college who expected one set of parents to gift her a brand new car for graduation (she already had a 3 1/2 year old car that was a high school graduation gift) and the other set of parents to give her a fully paid for condo. It felt like she was from a different planet than I was.

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by jp1 View Post
    I couldn't quite comprehend the mindset of a friend of a friend in college who expected one set of parents to gift her a brand new car for graduation (she already had a 3 1/2 year old car that was a high school graduation gift) and the other set of parents to give her a fully paid for condo. It felt like she was from a different planet than I was.
    I'm with you. I worked full time while going through nursing school (the faculty said no one can have a job and pass). A study group friend said "I quit my job and called Dad saying I need a $500/month allowance so i can go to school-she was married as was I. Daddy sent it. I couldn't believe my ears. I passed with a B-which is great by me considering my worked hours. I graduated with no school loans and no Daddy-care.

  4. #54
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    I thought long and hard about giving each of my three children a very small downpayment on a house. I decided I would rather they had the money now, when they could do some good with it for themselves and their children, then when I die and they are in their 50's or 60's.

    The first two bought houses because they could qualify for mortgages and make payments, etc. One has already seen their house go up 50,000 in 2 years. That was a good investment. The other has a very nice solid house for himself and his son and his mortgage payment is about 700 dollars a month. The third lives in a very expensive area and could not afford a house there--he shares space with 4 or 5 other people and is happy doing that. His money is in a brokerage account so that it can grow--I invest it after discussing it with him--we started one year ago and he is up 18% in the account. So hopefully that investment can grow for him over the years until he is ready to use it for something good, like a house or starting his own business.

    I am happy with this arrangement, that I have given them something to invest for themselves and their future. To me, it is no different than college. I would not be able to do 50000 each kid either, Terry. My neighbor is doing the ongoing EOC thing for her daughter--I would not do that for a grown child, as I think it is intrusive in their life.

  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tybee View Post
    I thought long and hard about giving each of my three children a very small downpayment on a house. I decided I would rather they had the money now, when they could do some good with it for themselves and their children, then when I die and they are in their 50's or 60's.

    The first two bought houses because they could qualify for mortgages and make payments, etc. One has already seen their house go up 50,000 in 2 years. That was a good investment. The other has a very nice solid house for himself and his son and his mortgage payment is about 700 dollars a month. The third lives in a very expensive area and could not afford a house there--he shares space with 4 or 5 other people and is happy doing that. His money is in a brokerage account so that it can grow--I invest it after discussing it with him--we started one year ago and he is up 18% in the account. So hopefully that investment can grow for him over the years until he is ready to use it for something good, like a house or starting his own business.

    I am happy with this arrangement, that I have given them something to invest for themselves and their future. To me, it is no different than college. I would not be able to do 50000 each kid either, Terry. My neighbor is doing the ongoing EOC thing for her daughter--I would not do that for a grown child, as I think it is intrusive in their life.
    A wonderful gift you've given your children....and you raised them with the wisdom to use it well. This is very different from EOC. Lucky kids to have your thoughtful choices.

  6. #56
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    My daughter is renting a house with a roomate. It is an interesting experience for her and also for me to watch. They have similar educations, jobs, and income. Dd struggles to understand her roomate’s thoughts and behavior.

    The toilet broke, so roomate said “we need to call a plumber.” Dd bought an $8 part and fixed the toilet. They are looking for living room curtains. Roomate selected a variety and showed them to Dd. Dd said “ they’re all fine, let’s just get the cheapest ones.” Roomate said “I always get the most expensive.” Roomate said “we need to hire a lawn service.” Dd said “buy a lawn mower and I’ll mow.” Their biggest conflict has been over the thermostat. Roomate has agreed to turn it up a little, but Dd is still pointing out that she should not need to wear a sweater in summer. Soon, it will be winter, and i’m Pretty sure she will be taking the other half of the “it’s too cold in her. Put on a sweater.” Exchange.

    roomate is always on the edge of broke. Dd in spite of a much longer commute and higher gas costs is saving 20% of her salary (we are subsidizing her car insurance and phone by letting her pay her part of our family plans instead of getting her own, and dh work still covers her health insurance.)

    i just keep telling Dd “maybe she will learn some good habits from you. Just don’t pick up bad ones from her!”

  7. #57
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    UL, forgot to mention that the reason that the houses are so much cheaper in the north valleys is because many are trailers on a piece of land. My son and his wife donít plan on buying.

  8. #58
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    CL, your daughter sounds very mature. Tybee, I think it’s great that you helped your kids within your means. My youngest saved his money and is now traveling in India for 7 weeks before moving to Vietnam to teach English. P He is frugal and said his hotel doesn’t have A/C or hot water.

  9. #59
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    Tybee,
    I know of grandparents who bought a house with a good-sized down payment for each of their 3 adult grandchildren. (think $50,000 to $100,000 each)It allowed the adult grandchild to live more cheaply because the remaining mortgage was low enough for anyone with a modest income to manage it.
    However, the house and mortgage were kept in the name of one grandparent and the grandchild. If the grandchild was married or became married later, the spouse was not put on the deed or mortgage. I think the fear was that a divorce would mean the loss of the house if they had to sell it and split any net profits.
    It transferred wealth during their lifetime and allowed the adult grandchildren to have a decent middle-class home.

  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lainey View Post
    Tybee,
    I know of grandparents who bought a house with a good-sized down payment for each of their 3 adult grandchildren. (think $50,000 to $100,000 each)It allowed the adult grandchild to live more cheaply because the remaining mortgage was low enough for anyone with a modest income to manage it.
    However, the house and mortgage were kept in the name of one grandparent and the grandchild. If the grandchild was married or became married later, the spouse was not put on the deed or mortgage. I think the fear was that a divorce would mean the loss of the house if they had to sell it and split any net profits.
    It transferred wealth during their lifetime and allowed the adult grandchildren to have a decent middle-class home.
    My SIL did that for her sons (my brother died when they were teens). However, her oldest son's home is his and SILs. She refuses to put her DIL on it. And for the younger son? She gave them the downpayment. Her name is not on their home and her DIL is......it creates tremendous anger from the DIL not 'trusted' towards her MIL.

    Treat kids equally if you do anything!

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