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Thread: Whew, did the hard thing

  1. #11
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zoe Girl View Post
    So I am learning a lot, probably that I should have been more honest and direct with her a long time ago. It was really hard however, she was doing better under me but I think I took too much crap. So some of me not believing that I was worth more than having crap for staff.
    One of the main reasons I went freelance was because I (IMHO) am a terrible manager. Not that I'm mean--it's the opposite. I find it hard to realistically assess what a person is giving (or not giving) to the company. You talk about being an empath a lot, ZG, and I think that was my problem. I would stick up for staff no matter what, even if they really should have been corrected. I don't know if my ACOA (Adult Child of Alcoholic) experience was also at play--I find it very hard to trust my own gut when it comes to other people, which sometimes puts me at a disadvantage when it comes to healthy relationships--work or otherwise.

    I echo what others have said. Thank God you didn't get involved in that recommendation. Yes, just move forward.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  2. #12
    Senior Member
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    ZG,

    When co-workers from your former workplace get in contact with you, it is good to know what they need... maybe an employment reference, etc.

    Tactfully refusing their requests may be beneficial to you: making a "clean break" with a problematic past period in your life, avoiding avoidable worries, simplifying, reducing the number of people who are dependent on you in any way, etc.


    On the other hand, agreeing to their requests may offer different benefits: favors -- will they be able to scratch your back someday in return? Altruism?


    Consider your needs. What do you think?

  3. #13
    Senior Member
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    Dado, i would love to work with a few people from my old workplace, i have offered them recommendations regardless of what they want to do or where they want to go. One would have to take a step up and i am not sure she would want to change districts.

    At the funeral it appears that no one knew why i left, i was just gone when school started. So at least there are not stories about me in a bad way about the breakdown. However i realized that a lot of people are just not nice people.

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