Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. - Booker T. Washington
At 37, my niece did the match.com thing with exacting requirements - advanced degree, professional career and/or successful entrepreneur, fit and outdoorsy, and wanting to start a family. I don't know how long it took but she found exactly what she was looking for, married the guy and became pregnant one year later. And then one more three years later. Still together seven years later. His income is very high and with that she has been able to stay home with the kids. I am guessing that people that run in those crowds wouldn't settle for anything less but I don't live in that bubble.
As many of you know, I tend to date black women because they seem to be the most interested in me and they tend to be more forward about it.
But I had a heart-to-heart recently with one of my closest friends; she is certainly my closest confidant. She is a black woman (married for years now, and she and I were never romantic as she had always wanted a bunch of babies).
She told me to branch out and really give other demographics of women a chance. She said: "I am glad you like the 'sistahs' but you have a lot of unique boxes you want checked. You should open up to dating women of other ethnicities or races. Think about it. Black women are one of the most religious demographics in America; and you are a Christopher Hitches-style anti-theist. You also don't want kids. Family and motherhood are huge in the black community. It is really part of our culture. So branch out!"
When a close friend comes to me in sincerity and with good points. I listen. I take it to heart.
So I thought: "Which demographic have I not really given a chance to?"
The answer: Asian women. I have never gone on more than a couple dates with an Asian woman. I usually swipe past them.
Then I looked up some demographic research. Asian women are least likely to be religious. They are also least likely to have children out of wedlock.
Then I joined a dating site specifically for Asian women. Wow! Different experience than any other dating site I have been on!
So, your friend told you the exact things we hsve been telling you about the female black population and religiousness and progeny, and you listen. Bravo!
You are going to have to sell yourself on that site as the white guy who doesnt have the usual Asian girl fetish.
Yeah. Good luck with that.
https://thetempest.co/2015/06/17/cul...-love-can-rot/
I was remiss in listening to others, perhaps including you. But you know, sometimes someone brings up a good point and for whatever reason, it does not sink in at first. Then things happen over time, you live, you learn. I am not perfect in my rationality. I merely strive for it with the best of intentions.
Uh, but I don't. Why would I have to sell that?
Look, I know some guys have "yellow fever." But some Asian women have... I dunno... "white heat." haha
Besides, if anything I have a secular fetish. haha
I don't feel that way. I mean, I looked up some bar graphs at Pew research and saw that Asian women are the least likely to be religious or take part in religious activities. Then I was like: "Tonya is right... I should branch out. This really bolsters her points."
If I met a black woman or a Latina or a Native American who was a secular, child-free, minimalist I'd be happy too.
But why not look into the demographic that is most statistically likely to share my secular values?
Can’t you just look for a woman - rather a woman of a certain ethnicity?
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