Online dating or hookups, beware

[bae]

I am 39, so I am still young enough and healthy enough to wanna get froiky with my significant other.

I just turned 56, and sensuality and physical intimacy are a big deal for me. I don't expect that to change as I get older, too much, assuming I remain healthy. There seem to be plenty of folks in this age range who have similar outlooks, thank goodness.

One of the several Next Careers I am mulling over involves getting into education, counseling, and therapy in this area.

[Teacher Terry]

I think a majority of people want loving sex no matter the age.

[Ultralight]

I think a majority of people want loving sex no matter the age.

Get on a dating site. You might change your mind.

[Ultralight]

One of the several Next Careers I am mulling over involves getting into education, counseling, and therapy in this area.

That can be a really good cause.

[SteveinMN]

Here you go.
Attachment 2826

When I was using dating Web sites I don't remember running across women quite that -- umm -- direct about their needs. Well, maybe not that particular need. But I do recall the profiles that over-emphasized* integrity and monogamy and the "place" each partner needed to have in a potential relationship.

* Nothing wrong with those things at all but when those (or similar statements about financial or emotional stability) are mentioned very specifically 3-4 times in a single paragraph, to the exclusion of any other strong expressions of the poster's personal values, one wonders if the prospective partner is operating from a healthy place herself.

I remember reading profiles (and private messages) from women who clearly wanted to be submissive and "kept"; I know some guys go for that but I had just finished a stint as the cruise director in a relationship and I didn't want that at all. I remember reading profiles that sounded straight out of a Hallmark movie. Maybe I read too much into them but when all you get is a picture and a short profile (and the list of "filtered" attributes), it's an easy tendency to read between the lines, especially when a pattern appeared to be present.

[bae]

Maybe I read too much into them but ...

I agree - there are certain ways of presentation that speak volumes :-)

Related: I used to interview for colleges. Some people's profiles look just like the overstuffed list-o-interests-and-activities the overprepped cardboard cutout college applicants - they check all the required boxes, but nothing stands out.

My correspondence with my mainland contact began because she mentioned a topic she was starting to learn about, and it was something I had been thinking of investigating as well, so I sent her a simple note concerning the topic and what she had discovered about local resources. Her profile stood out, because it had something different and interesting in it that revealed there was a real person on the other side of the app.

[Ultralight]

My correspondence with my mainland contact began because she mentioned a topic she was starting to learn about, and it was something I had been thinking of investigating as well, so I sent her a simple note concerning the topic and what she had discovered about local resources. Her profile stood out, because it had something different and interesting in it that revealed there was a real person on the other side of the app.

Definitely a win!

[Ultralight]

...one wonders if the prospective partner is operating from a healthy place herself.

Ah...yup!

I remember reading profiles (and private messages) from women who clearly wanted to be submissive and "kept"; I know some guys go for that but I had just finished a stint as the cruise director in a relationship and I didn't want that at all. I remember reading profiles that sounded straight out of a Hallmark movie. Maybe I read too much into them but when all you get is a picture and a short profile (and the list of "filtered" attributes), it's an easy tendency to read between the lines, especially when a pattern appeared to be present.

You can get quite keen to those patterns.

[Ultralight]

One thing I often think about is how much easier it was to get a date back when I was 33.

At 39 getting a date is hard!

When I was 33 I could literally get 3 or 4 dates a week with not much effort. And the dates would be with very physically attractive (to me!) women who were highly educated and accomplished -- statisticians and epidemiologists and architects.

But now, the only women who seem to be interested have some lifestyle problems or are kinda crazy. Mostly tired, exhausted single moms, Borderlines, women who are just looking for a side-piece, etc.

Would 6 years really make that much difference? Thoughts?

[iris lilies]

One thing I often think about is how much easier it was to get a date back when I was 33.

At 39 getting a date is hard!

When I was 33 I could literally get 3 or 4 dates a week with not much effort. And the dates would be with very physically attractive (to me!) women who were highly educated and accomplished -- statisticians and epidemiologists and architects.

But now, the only women who seem to be interested have some lifestyle problems or are kinda crazy. Mostly tired, exhausted single moms, Borderlines, women who are just looking for a side-piece, etc.

Would 6 years really make that much difference? Thoughts?

My gut reaction is that in another 6 years you will have many choice, the pool chamges because those exhausted single mothers will have children more independent.

But then, you have always considered older women, so I dont know what to tell ya.