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Thread: Online dating or hookups, beware

  1. #31
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    I was remiss in listening to others, perhaps including you. But you know, sometimes someone brings up a good point and for whatever reason, it does not sink in at first. Then things happen over time, you live, you learn. I am not perfect in my rationality. I merely strive for it with the best of intentions.



    Uh, but I don't. Why would I have to sell that?

    Look, I know some guys have "yellow fever." But some Asian women have... I dunno... "white heat." haha

    Besides, if anything I have a secular fetish. haha
    Well, I near ya about information sinking in. The student will learn when his mind is open to the lesson. Most of us have to hear lessons several times before they resonate and we internalize them.

  2. #32
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    I was remiss in listening to others, perhaps including you. But you know, sometimes someone brings up a good point and for whatever reason, it does not sink in at first. Then things happen over time, you live, you learn. I am not perfect in my rationality. I merely strive for it with the best of intentions.



    Uh, but I don't. Why would I have to sell that?

    Look, I know some guys have "yellow fever." But some Asian women have... I dunno... "white heat." haha

    Besides, if anything I have a secular fetish. haha
    In the general world of white guys seeking Asian women, I think you DO have an advantage because you are not there for the usual Yellow Fever reasons (you guys used that phrase, I was not gonna use it!) so sell yourself!

    you arent there for the petite beauty of sterotypical Asian women. In fact, you may have a hard time finding attraction with that population.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    Well, in the general world of white guys seeking Asian women, I think you DO have an advantage because you are not there for the usual Yellow Fever reasons (you guys used that phrase, I was not gonna use it!) so sell yourself!

    you arent there for the petite beauty of sterotypical Asian women. In fact, you may have a are time finding attraction with that population.
    The first time I tried sparkling water I was utterly disgusted.

    The second time I fell in love with that fizzy H2O!

    Perhaps the same can be said about women with petite physiques.

    So on online dating sites I have gotten flirts and likes from black women. Then I get a message like: "I take the flirt back. You are an atheist." or "I liked you based on your looks. Then I read your profile. Not interested anymore." or "We'll never be a match! I love Jesus! And you don't even know him."

    But so far Asian women have been very receptive. It is like night and day. Buddhists seem to be mellow and non-evangelical. So that is pretty cool too.

  4. #34
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    well you probably do need to date a better personality match. meh I don't wish to deal in racial stereotypes here especially as it probably depends on region of the country, age, etc. etc.. I take it you don't like white women either? Although what race was your ex-wife?
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore View Post
    well you probably do need to date a better personality match.
    True!

    Quote Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore View Post
    meh I don't wish to deal in racial stereotypes here especially as it probably depends on region of the country, age, etc. etc..
    Also true! But... sure, a woman from the Philippines is likely to be Xian -- probably Catholic. Though a woman from Thailand is likely to be Buddhist or secular. A woman from Vietnam is probably secular, same for China or Japan.

    Quote Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore View Post
    I take it you don't like white women either?
    I like white women; it ought to go without saying.

    And I have asked many out over the years. They tend to decline, or if we go on a date we quickly realize we're not a match. I am not sure why. Essentially though, white women tend to ignore my messages on dating sites at a much higher rate than black women.

    But also, when I went to college and I was suddenly around black women all the time. I just noticed they gravitated toward me. Not sure why. One woman did try to explain her theory of why to me. She said: "You look at black women like we are just as attractive as another other race or ethnicity. You talk and flirt with us like you really mean it, you listen to us."

    Quote Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore View Post
    Although what race was your ex-wife?
    She is white. She was a very unique woman though -- and we met when I was 21 and she was 19. And to be honest, I bet if she and I met today she would not even look my way for a second.

  6. #36
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Fascinating...

    Exploring the world of Match.Com to collect data.

    There's almost not a woman on there that doesn't list as her preference a preferred income of $150k+, and a desire for a height of > 6 foot.

    Only about 9% of the US population makes > $100k/year, the median income is about $31k. 6 foot tall is the 85th percentile for males of all races.

    Oh, and they want you to have no children, a desire to travel, yada yada yada.

    Most of these women do not seem to be in the upper 10% themselves by most any useful metric to me....

    Curious.

    I'm going to put together a profile looking only for hot ladies 70+ years old who are wealthy, generous, with no children to quibble about inheritance issues, and in poor health.... I gots me bills to pay....

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    Fascinating...

    Exploring the world of Match.Com to collect data.

    There's almost not a woman on there that doesn't list as her preference a preferred income of $150k+, and a desire for a height of > 6 foot.

    Only about 9% of the US population makes > $100k/year, the median income is about $31k. 6 foot tall is the 85th percentile for males of all races.

    Oh, and they want you to have no children, a desire to travel, yada yada yada.

    Most of these women do not seem to be in the upper 10% themselves by most any useful metric to me....

    Curious.

    I'm going to put together a profile looking only for hot ladies 70+ years old who are wealthy, generous, with no children to quibble about inheritance issues, and in poor health.... I gots me bills to pay....
    Yeah... bae... we call these women "Match Clones."

  8. #38
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    Yeah... bae... we call these women "Match Clones."
    Compared to my random interactions here in real life based purely on talking to people at coffee shops and the market: most of the folks don't care about income or height, most have their own lives and are just friendly, and aren't looking for lifelong partners or support.

    I think I'm sticking to drinking coffee.

  9. #39
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    Fascinating...

    Exploring the world of Match.Com to collect data.

    There's almost not a woman on there that doesn't list as her preference a preferred income of $150k+, and a desire for a height of > 6 foot.

    Only about 9% of the US population makes > $100k/year, the median income is about $31k. 6 foot tall is the 85th percentile for males of all races.

    Oh, and they want you to have no children, a desire to travel, yada yada yada.

    Most of these women do not seem to be in the upper 10% themselves by most any useful metric to me....

    Curious.

    I'm going to put together a profile looking only for hot ladies 70+ years old who are wealthy, generous, with no children to quibble about inheritance issues, and in poor health.... I gots me bills to pay....
    I find these things fascinating, because as I think I've expressed ad nauseum, my only financial requirement is that a potential companion be able to hold up his end of any dating expenses--at least most of the time. From what I hear, people's criteria are ridiculous, and of course you can't get a feel for chemistry on line. I never seriously dated anyone upward of average height because I don't like craning my neck to look at people. But it's good to be able to eliminate gold diggers and the shallow toute de suite, I guess. It's helpful when they show their hand up front.

  10. #40
    Senior Member Rogar's Avatar
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    There was an interesting program that I think was one Radio Lab on online dating. They attributed the top reason for failures to the fact that both males and females are seeking partner potential based on expectations of someone 25% more attractive than they are. I was hiking behind a couple of nice appearing women not long ago and had to laugh at their overheard online dating stories. One was like, he was a nice looking guy with hair and when we met I didn't recognize him because he was BALD! They both seemed to have experiences with men mis-representing their age as being younger than reality or photos that were many years old. Also men responding that were years above their indicated age range. And then the ones about men making sexual propositions way before appropriate.

    My days of online dating attempts were disappointing and are over. The women I met did not represent themselves honestly and it was becoming a waste of time. I can't recall where I heard it, but there was a number floating around that you had to meet up with something like 12 people on average before finding someone you would date more than once or twice. I suppose if you make a big project of it you get a good match at some point.

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