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Thread: Hair dos.

  1. #1
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    Hair dos.

    So a woman at my work (which is 85% women) got her hair did. As usual when any woman at work gets her hair did, she gives me and the other guys a look, as though she expects a compliment. It is subtle. But that is the look.

    I would have liked to have said: "You new hairstyle looks really nice!"

    But I said nothing. The other guys said nothing.

    Then another woman walked up and said: "You look so beautiful! Your hair looks amazing! But of course, no one else noticed, did they?"

    And this woman looked over at me and two other guys disapprovingly.

    Then the woman with the hair do said: "Well, they're just dudes. They don't notice."

    One guy actually said: "I did notice, but I held back and did not say anything. But it does look nice."

    Here is the thing: I feel like commenting on a woman's hair, body, clothes, etc. at work is viewed as sexual harassment. So I literally say nothing. It is safer.

    Anyone else go through this?

  2. #2
    Simpleton Alan's Avatar
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    I've treated every woman I've ever worked with as if she were my cousin or niece, depending upon age, and never worried about potential harassment.
    "Things should be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler." ~ Albert Einstein

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alan View Post
    I've treated every woman I've ever worked with as if she were my cousin or niece, depending upon age, and never worried about potential harassment.
    Vague.

  4. #4
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    Then another woman walked up and said: "You look so beautiful! Your hair looks amazing! But of course, no one else noticed, did they?"

    And this woman looked over at me and two other guys disapprovingly.

    Then the woman with the hair do said: "Well, they're just dudes. They don't notice."
    I would have reported them to HR for creating a hostile work environment and their sexist behaviour.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    I would have reported them to HR for creating a hostile work environment and their sexist behaviour.
    Uh, dude, I don't think that is how it works.

  6. #6
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    Uh, dude, I don't think that is how it works.
    That's how they trained us in our sexual harassment/diversity awareness for the workplace classes though. In my last company the "they are just dudes" comment would have led to some discussions....

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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    That's how they trained us in our sexual harassment/diversity awareness for the workplace classes though. In my last company the "they are just dudes" comment would have led to some discussions....
    Was your last company in some bizarro world? How is "they are just dudes" sexist?

  8. #8
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    Was your last company in some bizarro world? How is "they are just dudes" sexist?
    They'd cover that in the first several days of your training.

    It wasn't "bizarro world", it was a typical professional science/engineering environment in Silicon Valley, before the invasion of the dude-bros.

    I believe I would be having some conversations with my current chain-of-command if I engaged in the same sort of talk as well.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    They'd cover that in the first several days of your training.

    It wasn't "bizarro world", it was a typical professional science/engineering environment in Silicon Valley, before the invasion of the dude-bros.

    I believe I would be having some conversations with my current chain-of-command if I engaged in the same sort of talk as well.
    California! A bizarro world, indeed!

  10. #10
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    Thankfully, I never worked in a uptight place. Men would have been free to compliment women. We actually had a lot of fun at work but also worked with the same people for years so everyone knew each other well.

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