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Thread: Hair dos.

  1. #11
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    Thankfully, I never worked in a uptight place. Men would have been free to compliment women. We actually had a lot of fun at work but also worked with the same people for years so everyone knew each other well.
    We're not an uptight crowd. But the risk of something a guy says being misconstrued is real and the risk is really high.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  2. #12
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    I think it's ok for a woman to compliment another woman's hair (expected even some places) but less so for a guy. So I agree with that take.

    I also agree that technically the "they're just guys" could be interpreted as hostile work environment but I think it's the type of comment that would have to happen more than once for it to really be taken that way (usually hostile work environment stuff either has to be severe or pervasive). I do the required trainings on this stuff, year after year for various jobs, doesn't everyone.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  3. #13
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    What I have found too is the bigger the department the more risk there is or if new people were constantly coming in. Anyways I have been retired 6 years and all my friends at work are too so no clue how the atmosphere is now but we were lucky that we didn’t have those worries.

  4. #14
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    I don't think a simple compliment is harassment.

  5. #15
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gardnr View Post
    I don't think a simple compliment is harassment.
    The issue, as I understand it, is if the recipient believes it is.

    I know of folks who smiled and put up with workplace "we're all just friends" comments for years, while they were hurting inside.

  6. #16
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    Set up week a guy I teach with showed up with a new beard. He was also wearing shorts and a t-shirt (relevant later) he always teaches in slacks and a button down shirt.

    So we arrive at the door together and I say cheerfully “new look.” And he says “yeah, it’s my summer look.” So I kind of thought he was planning to shave for the school year (also thought it was odd, because isn’t a beard hot?)

    but he did did not shave. Apparently he thought I was commenting on his shorts?

    if someone is a friend and they look nice, I will tell them. If they are not, I do not comment on their appearance (unless their shoe is untied or something like that “do you know your shoe is untied?”)

  7. #17
    Simpleton Alan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gardnr View Post
    I don't think a simple compliment is harassment.
    I guess everyone deserves the right to feel victimized these days.
    "Things should be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler." ~ Albert Einstein

  8. #18
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    I agree Alan.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    The issue, as I understand it, is if the recipient believes it is.

    I know of folks who smiled and put up with workplace "we're all just friends" comments for years, while they were hurting inside.
    True. Harassment is a perception not an intent. I stand corrected.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Gardenarian's Avatar
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    Well, UL, they are putting you in a very difficult place. I think a brief "Nice haircut" would be acceptable to all. Maybe.

    I wouldn't expect anyone to comment on my hair unless it was a drastic change.

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