Several years back I recognized a cousin's name on a list serve and got in touch with him. He is 2 months younger than me, and we lived most of our lives up to that point within about 8 miles of each other and didn't know it! [Our mothers were sisters- long estranged, when they each fled eastern Oregon for the Promised Land of California, each with their respective spouses.] Unfortunately, he and his wife were just at the cusp of relocating to Washington state to be closer to their daughter and about-to-be 3 grand kids.
A few years passed, then I heard from his younger sister! We have connected and have a great time together. Though I am now retired and she, 10 years younger, is still working a very demanding job, we manage to carve out time to attend quilt shows and have lunch together periodically. And she hosts a lavish dinner once a year when her brother visits, and we eat and talk into the wee hours of the morning.
Then she did 23-and-Me and discovered some of our second cousins, 2 women/sisters in their 70's, who also quilt and do crafts. Turns out they have lived about 50 miles away since we were all young kids. I am both sad and excited to have met them. Sad at so many years wasted when we could have been great support and comfort for each other, and excited that we have some time now, though not much, I suspect, because they are both in failing health.
I'm having a difficult time not being extremely angry with my mother over all of this. She KNEW where their family was, and never shared that information with me. When I asked her about it, she said, "Oh, they just stopped coming around, so I assumed they moved again."
Then when I ask her about other family/cousins, she says, "oh, look them up on your computer"!!
I guess my point is that even if the adults can't see their way to being friends, the cousins have a right to know each other!
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