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Thread: Cyborg romance

  1. #71
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    Well, it is possible that the cell phone thing isn’t the real reason. So many women in the US have been brought up to be nice and never hurt anyone’s feelings that there could very likely be a completely different, more personal reason they are saying, “no,” but they are too polite to tell you that, so they have chosen the more neutral issue of the cell phone.

  2. #72
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Cellaneous View Post
    Well, it is possible that the cell phone thing isn’t the real reason. So many women in the US have been brought up to be nice and never hurt anyone’s feelings that there could very likely be a completely different, more personal reason they are saying, “no,” but they are too polite to tell you that, so they have chosen the more neutral issue of the cell phone.
    Dishonest, but not a big deal.
    “I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  3. #73
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    Actually, I think it probably is the cell phone. your lack of cell phone is a big indicator of your lifestyle choices.

    it also modifies your minimalism - there are minimalists who don’t have stuff because they travel light due to being very digitized - cell phone = books, magazines, newspapers, videos, phone, clock, watch, alarm, music, mail, games, maps......

    then there are the “Thoreau” style minimalists.

    you are neither, but the adamant “no phone” casts you in the Luddite camp.

  4. #74
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    Actually, I think it probably is the cell phone. your lack of cell phone is a big indicator of your lifestyle choices.
    Ding, ding, ding! You are correct.
    “I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  5. #75
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    What I find to be interesting is that the women's choice to decline me based on my cell phone is resoundingly defended even though it has nothing to do with my character, my ethics, my kindness, my dedication as a partner, etc. It has nothing to do with anything of substance.
    You defend your preferences (minimalism, no kids, etc.) and judge potential partners based on their preferences for kids and "stuff" (including mobile phones) even though that has nothing to do with their character, their ethics, their kindness, or their dedication as a partner.

    Surely you know that, for most people -- sometimes to a startling degree -- perception is reality. Potential partners are reflecting their perception of you based on your profile and whatever other details you reveal about yourself during your initial contacts. Want to change anything about that?
    Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. - Booker T. Washington

  6. #76
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    I think this is an interesting thread, actually. I don't have any strong opinions on it. Since I never ever had the choice to date with or without a cell phone (my dating stopped in 1976), I am trying hard to put myself in the shoes of the women who are turning UL down on the basis of this one thing. I'm coming up empty. It might simply be that not having a cell phone puts UL solidly in a counter-culture realm that most women, being of THIS particular culture, don't understand--it might make them think UL is "weird." From a practical standpoint, maybe they are so engrained in being able to text their SO at any time of the day or night, or be be reasonably certain they would be at arm's length for a conversation, they probably just can't wrap their minds around it.

    It is, truly, an interesting statement about where we have come over the past two decades.

    I have a Luddite son. It took him forever to get a cell phone, but he finally got one. He was the last of his peers to get a TV and a computer. But he has fallen into the way of modern day communication, for better or worse. And he got married a couple of years ago. Is there a connection? I hardly think so.

    I do think Miss Cellaneous has a point, though. It may be a mask for a general lack of interest for a variety of reasons, and the cell phone one is an easy out.

    As I tell my OTHER son who frequently feels very insecure that he'll never find a woman because he doesn't have money or "good prospects" from a career perspective, you just go where like-minded people are most likely to be. I know it's a trite mom-saying, but "there's someone for everybody." If there are men like you and my son, there are women like you and my son.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  7. #77
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    you can go where like-minded people are but you have to accept the limitations of that and what dating pool you have chosen (counter-cultural people might not always be that successful in this culture etc.).
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  8. #78
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    My son met his wife on a train. For a long time I clung to books and newspapers. Then I realized it was much easier to have them on my phone and I could read whatever I wanted. I no longer had to pay 30 /month for the paper or put it on hold when I go on vacation.

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